Lots of layers of emotions going on in this one

We made it to Friday! In my house, this means my 3 year old will be singing a classic Rebecca Black jam that I mostly don't regret exposing her to.

This picture from Fred seems a bit on the nose, but if you want to tell people you're a bar for sad alcoholics who am I to stand in your way.



Tom sent me this label from a guitar that was, it seems, inspired by a John Lennon impersonator



Now that I understand how these customer service surveys work, I can report having been "highly satisfied" when I was in fact neutral on the regular. Thanks Emily



John sent me this next one. I guess bird feeders only have the illusion of choice. Now I'm imagining a person talking for their bird feeder ventriloquist-style. "I like that brand, please."



The last one here is from sidabrine. This reminds me of when my kid plays with her hatchimals by exclaiming in a high-pitched voice "whee whee we're having so much fun!" while flying them around.




I have to say, it feels good to be making these posts again. Like riding a bike. Hope you're enjoying them too.

A very tricky green button and more

Hello, it's Thursday!

Sarah sent me this one, which has me all in my feelings about the illusion of privacy. "Thank You"



This next one is from Mike and has me wondering exactly what kind of "service" they are offering.



Stacey sent me this one. Look for the "green button" that isn't a green button. Probably not the one with all the arrows? Am I overthinking this? One button always tells the truth and the other one always lies?



Charles sent me this one about some "important" bureaucratic business that requires your "attention"



Hang in there, folks.

Existential squash questions and more

First picture for today is this one from Brooks. There's some kind of a winking situation going on, but I don't know who it is for. Maybe you can actually get away with a $51 purchase?



Next one is from Todd. I mean, if you really think about it, what even are food categories anyway. All signs are arbitrary.



Steve sent me this next one. I guess they wanted to say terrible stinks but decided it wasn't sufficiently polite and went with "odors."



If you have any imitation gas stoves around, Julian spotted a company in Cleveland that will buy them from you.



That's it for today. Be well.

The Safety Zone

It's Tuesday, apparently. What even are days anymore? Anyway, here's some toilet seat cover packaging that I think is telling me to flush myself down the toilet? But not seriously, which is a relief. Thanks for sending it Matt.



Nathan sent me this truck which seems to be a bit of a tease.



Riley sent me this one. If they mean it about pretend Peru, I'm wondering if I can do it while social distancing. Just saying.



This one's from Nikki. I guess these dogs are faking it?



That's it for today. You matter. Take care of yourself.

New Quotation Marks for Monday

Ok another day another post with a few mystifying quotation marks. The first one was sent by Drew. Not sure how to "let them know" but I know one thing, the manager is not the one who will be taking care of it.



This one is even more of a blast from the past than most, it was taken in Las Vegas in 1980. I mean, if you can have a simulated steak house, I feel like Vegas is the place it would be. Thanks for sending it Brian!



Angela sent this next one. I guess you can learn to knit the painful way.



Last one for today from Aimee. I don't know if they're asking you to steal from them or what, but I suggest either buying or not buying, and not any of this in-between business.



Hope you are all doing what you can to keep everyone in your community safe.

Ok, we're back. Short term.

Ok, absolutely no promises about the long term, but I feel like people wouldn't mind something silly to look at. Remember when the internet was mostly ridiculous stuff instead of terrible news that makes me feel despondent? Here's some pictures of signs with a questionable use of quotation marks. People emailed them to me in 2014. Let's go!

A store offering marginally stale flowers, sent by Marianne:



Some folks who really don't want you to touch anything but they are not that committed to being polite about it, sent by ruetenik:



Probably offering food, but whether it qualifies as cuisine is up for debate, sent by Astrid:



Kristel sent me this one. I'm really flummoxed by the idea of a t-shirt that is not a t-shirt:



Looking for more? I've got an archive of literally thousands. Maybe I'll do a couple more in the coming days and weeks. You can also still get my book as an ebook.

Everybody please do your part to stop the spread of Covid-19. Stay home; wash your hands; be kind to others (from a distance). Pressure your government to get appropriate PPE and testing to the medical professionals. Stay safe and healthy!