"Mario's"

I mean, obviously you need to use an assumed name to do inspections. Duh. Thanks Michelle.

"Broken Toilet"

Here's where the secret meetings obviously take place. Thanks Marianne.

"Milk"

I guess this is where you can buy a sorry excuse for milk? Thanks Adam.

"Competitive Starting Pay"

Seems like the hiring manager can't quite keep a straight face with this one. Thanks Mark.

mmhmm

Sure it's enforced. You'll get right on that, I see. Thanks Anthony.

"To go"

I guess if they stay here, they remain condiments. Thanks Jack.

No Customers "Allowed"

Maybe some managers allow it? Thanks Jad.

"For guest safety"

Submitter Oliver suggests this is more about the operator's temperament than guest safety.

"get it"

I don't know what you really have to do for a free cookie, but I think I'll pass. Thanks Monica.

"Business" Hours

I guess they do other things besides business during those hours? Thanks William.

"Fresh" Seafood

Submitter Mary (thanks!) informs me this was taken in Lafayette, IN, which I suppose is not too close to the sea, so....

Only moderately hot

I guess there's a little wiggle room on how hot this water is going to be. Thanks to an anonymous submitter.

Get your "Tees"

I think they mean T-shirts, so maybe they think "Tees" is the nickname? Thanks Jamie and James.

ambiguous opening

I mean, who can remember when this restaurant opened. Thanks Jamie and James!