Must sell "Firewood"

Pretty good price for what I'm hoping is some furniture? Thanks Tiffany.

Fried "Okra"

So, think this might be french fries? Just sayin. Thanks Cassidy.

"Good" help

I guess mediocre help is acceptable. I know someone whose worst quality is that she cares too much? Thanks Bob.

What a deal!

I think this is an accurate use of quotation marks, but it's still funny. Thanks Susan.

Caution

Look out for all those fake bees. Maybe it has something to do with this? Thanks Lizzy.

"Electrical issues" you say

That's a new one. Hey, I can't go to work tomorrow. "Electrical issues" if you know what I mean. Thanks Jack.

Rude or Ominous?

I can't tell if you're "welcome" because you're about to be turned into, like, vampire food, or just because they are going to make you wait a while before they seat you, even if they aren't busy. Thanks Jessica.

Our "Pork"

Maybe they really want to be more specific about what parts of the pig they are using, but were advised to be more polite. Thanks Erica.

New "Potatoes"

I wonder what they are actually frying and when they are doing it? Plantains? Yesterday? Thanks Joe.

"Drinks" and "clean" shower

This isn't a Hansel and Gretel style trap at all! Thanks Ryan.

"Buying" Gold & Silver

Submitter Jonathan suggests that this may be a trap.

Seems kinda sci-fi to me

Charlotte spotted this at a hospital in Chitipa, Malawi. I will admit the idea that trying to enter a room could destroy your memory is kind of awesome, but I also like how many other things besides "please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" could have quotation marks and make more sense.

So many quotation marks

Between the nested quotation marks and the quotation marks around nothing, I really think this brings unnecessary quotation marks to a whole new level. Thanks Lane.

"Bed Bug Destroyers"

It doesn't totally follow, but I just assume these guys are the ghost busters. Who you gonna call? Thanks Keegan.

"No" use of pool after dark

I guess "some" pool use is totally cool. Thanks Erin.

"Fragrance-free"

Well, a few frangrances might happen from time to time. Er, "fragrances." Thanks Blake.

When lot is "Full"

I wonder what the difference is between a lot that is actually full and one that is "full." Submitter Dan suggests the parking lot just ate.

Some cleaning allowed

I will say, I've seen more signs demanding people wash dishes than suggesting that they probably shouldn't (or should you?). Thanks Dave.

"2" tacos

I wonder how many tacos you really get? Thanks Michael.

"Fresh" Pizza

It's cool, pizza sellers. I like it best straight out of the fridge anyway. Thanks William.

"Great" Jerky

This jerky is so jerky that it's sarcastic, I guess. Thanks Darren.

"Watermelon"

Here is some imaginary fruit. Thanks Sarah.

"work"

These guys want to pretend to work for you! Thanks Karl.

What we "Grow"

I guess the definition of "growing" food is also, uh, "growing." Thanks Melissa.

"Upstairs"

Who knows where the real lounge is. Thanks Christopher.

"Teachers" Wanted

I guess they are looking for some children who like to play school. Thanks Russell.

"Happy Holidays"

Given that the holiday special is a single slice of cheese for $1, I think the sarcastic "Happy Holidays" is appropriate. Thanks Grace.

Pseudonym pastor

I guess "Rick" is pastoring under an assumed name. Or the church assumes so? Thanks Bo.