"Historic" Village Diner

I guess it's full of fake history. Thanks April.

"Great" Gifts

I guess they mean these gifts will make the recipient say "Greeeeeat." Thanks Matthew.

"Before"

I guess if you take your boots off RIGHT inside the lobby, good enough. Thanks Steve.

More fake bacon

I guess they have, like, bacos? Thanks Megan.

Oh "Deer"

This is pun-tastic. Thanks Erin!

the wink wink department

I guess this is where you used to go to do "important" "business" about "health." Thanks Jack.

"Cleans"

Jesse spotted this at a cafe, I do not know the status of these spoons, or the adjective/verb intention of the word in quotation marks.

Last Minute Gift Idea

This is your annual reminder that all your friends and family probably want The Book of Unnecessary Quotation Marks as a christmas gift.

"Sinister" bag

Rina and her boyfriend saw this ominous note in a Brooklyn apartment building. I can't tell if the quotation marks make it seem more or less sinister.

"Fresh" from "Dixon"

I wonder how far this corn really came, and how long it really took. Thanks Jason.

"Waiting" as you say

I guess they saw you playing candy crush and think that's not the purest form of waiting. Thanks Pip May.

so, like, one?

It seems like maybe they have a non-zero number of fried green tomatoes. Thanks Emily!

We want your "business"

I wonder what kind of "business" they are looking for... Thanks Janeanne.

Better than the "View"

I assume the "view" is a mural painting, but I don't know what the "food" might be. Thanks Carol.

"Free" Estimate

Just another example of stuff that has a hidden cost. Even estimates, I guess. Thanks Emmi.

"Anyone" eh?

Seems like this Tattoo shop is a bit skeptical about their usual panhandlers' requests. Thanks Ryan.

Walk "PETS" Away

I am now imagining some kind of non-pet pets. Maybe, like, fish because you can't pet them? I mean, or walk them, but still. Thanks Melissa.

Password is "Password"?

Submitter Mandy writes, "I am still confused if there is a password or if the password is indeed password."

"Cans"

I guess you can put any old trash into that hole. Thanks Neil.

Sounds "Fun"

Submitter Matt reports: "In fairness, the bouncy castle and ball pool they had set up upstairs did look fun. That said, it was entirely indoors."

No smoking... what?

Submitter Nellie explains that this sign was posted in her band's practice space. None of us know what the picture is supposed to be, which makes it definitely the best part.

Where are the chefs really?

I guess it's more like in-restaurant. Thanks Miriam.

"Fine" Watch & Jewelry

How's your service? "Fine." Yeah, I'll totally go there. Thanks Jon.

"Real" BBQ Sauce

I guess they're trying to avoid criticism from barbecue lovers from another US region? Thanks David.

"Delicious" Burgers

I guess these burgers and milkshakes are only marginally delicious. Thanks Geoffrey.

"No" Flea Market

I like that one sign has the quotation marks and the other one doesn't. It's like, I don't know, both not a flea market and yes a flea market simultaneously. Thanks Shemmy.

"Not Working"

So, um, is this treadmill working? Thanks Marc.

When "you leave"

Ok, the mix of underlining and quotation marks in this sign is entirely mystifying. The lock is maybe fake, and your leaving may or may not take place on this... time stream? Thanks Ramona.

Is that, like, Dante's Inferno or something?

This church pamphlet presents some real mixed messages on the existence and seriousness of hell. Thanks Grace.

Take a number to be "served"

I don't know what kind of "service" you can get here. Sounds... sketchy. Thanks Richard.

"Wait" to be seated

I guess you can "wait" impatiently. Thanks Alec.

The so-called furniture

I guess this "furniture" barely qualifies. Thanks Amanda.

He "decided"

Honestly, I'm not sure what this is after without the quotation marks. With them, it poses some serious theological questions. Thanks Matthias.

Breakfast Buffet

Submitter Douglas points out that whoever called this buffet "All you care to eat" may have been hinting that it's not very good.

Fake warning

Go ahead, set off the alarm. See what happens. We "warned" you. Thanks John.

That one guy

I guess "Jesus" is a nickname for a dude whose real name is Christ? Or something? Thanks Andy.

"odor control"

Ok, if this is a euphemism, I'm not sure how to express this meaning more explicitly. Thanks Andrew.

"Tasty"

I guess it's not so delicious after all. Thanks Civarazzi.

"lot" full

I have no idea what this is referring to if it is not a parking lot. I mean, the bar for achieving "lot" status is pretty low, right? Thanks Angie.

Fair enough

This candy probably isn't actually from a mountain, but WHAT IF IT WAS from the Big Rock Candy Mountain. The one! From the song! Thanks Jo.

"students" take note

I guess the "students" at this school don't "study" so much? Thanks David.

"Country Store"

I guess the store is actually in the city. Thanks Rob.

"Never" Forget

I mean, I guess we should be realistic about memories and stuff. Thanks Ryan.

No "Pets"

I guess they have a problem with your taxidermy pets here. Thanks Linda.

"The Bridge"

Submitter Kathryn testifies that it is a real bridge. Over a canyon.

Flush "Automatically"

I guess there's an "automatic" flusher pushing buttons somewhere... creepy... Thanks Erin.

Former Bookies "Whatever"

None of this makes any sense, so it's probably the greatest. Thanks Catherine.

Sure it is

Sounds like a lot of "fun." Thanks John.

"Classrooms"

I guess these rooms aren't too.... classy? Thanks Tavi.

"Press" the button

I guess you really have to whack it. Thanks Roxanne.

Fake Saturday?

Maybe they are protesting the traditional days of the week? Maybe it's a Friday but it will feel like Saturday because crabs? Thanks John.