Pay at the "canteen"

You know what? That's fair, calling it a "canteen" is kind of embarrassing. Thanks Rick.

Use fake caution

Pretend caution only please. More sarcastic than that, you're not doing it right. Thanks Nannina.

Don't "flush" the "paper towels"

I don't know what this is code about, but it seems to be actually toilet-related. Thanks Chance.

"non-profit"

I guess these folks wanted you to think the creation of this t-shirt cost $16, but didn't want to actually lie about it. Thanks Kevin.

Passport Photos "Guaranteed"

I guess there is no guarantee in the sense of, like, you get something if it doesn't work out? So really, good luck with that. Thanks Hannah.

"Valid" ID

I guess any old borrowed or stolen ID will be just fine. Thanks Gerard.

Keep it "closed"

I guess it's no big deal if you leave it slightly ajar. Thanks Matthew.

"estate-sale"

Submitter Justin suggests this is more like a garage sale.

"Locked" Door

I guess they will pretend to lock the door. Thanks Emily.

"Taco Ring"

You can eat something called a "Taco Ring" on Christmas assuming you count as a member of "anybody." Thanks Leslie.

Tools of "Freedom"

Some unexpected political commentary from the gun store. Thanks Jesse.

"sushi"

Of all the borderlines foods, "sushi" might be the riskiest. Thanks Richard.

Keep "Valuables"

I guess that stuff you are so careful about may not actually be that valuable. Thanks Susan.

"no one else"

I guess the person whose nickname is "no one else" is back there. So, go find him or her. Thanks Rhiannon.

Say "hi" on the "street"

Athena spotted this on an envelope for a police fundraiser. I'll allow saying "hi" but where you are supposed to do it, beats me.

"The" Dry Cleaners

Not just any dry cleaners... ok, maybe just any dry cleaners. Thanks Lee.

"Grassfed" etc

They sure did mime doing a lot of things (or not doing some of them?) to these hot dogs. Thanks Elaine.

When did it start?

Wait, was the whole victorian era a quotation? Has everything up until now been a reference or sarcastic? I'm so confused! Thanks Jack.

do "not" drink it

Maybe this water has mind control agents? Thanks Will.

"Free Admission"

I guess no town square, real or fake, is truly free? Thanks Danielle (and sorry, everybody, that I am still sorting through emails sent to me in December. I got busy and had to reduce the time spent on this blog.)

"lobster"

At least the chicken is authentic. Maybe it is this. Thanks Michael.

sure it's temporary

The pedestrians are going to be going this way for the REST OF TIME. Thanks Bradley.

Visitors must "Check In"

Just pretend to check in, the gates are only "locked" anyway. Thanks Jeff.

code restaurant

You can eat some "pizza" for "lunch" at this place. It's not sketchy at all! Thanks Joel.

You know, the "toilet"

If that is not a toilet, I do not know what it is. Thanks Alice.

Zoo is "smoke-free"

It's good to know this zoo experience might be "exceptional." Thanks John.

"men" working

Submitter Cassidy sent me three shots of this sign, and at first I thought it might reference a mixed-gender group of workers, but now I think this houseplant might be the referent. Ficuses (ficusi?) working! Caution!