Fake safety tips

Maybe these are the song titles for special songs about safety tips. Thanks to Gary who runs an apostrophe blog.

"Free"

I guess nothing is really free. Not even free samples. Thanks Kody.

exclamation points!

I am so distracted by the various amusing qualities of this sign that I can't even tell if the quotation marks are unnecessary or not. I mean, it's a vending machine that is not, in fact, vending, so..... Thanks Timothy.

Also, Bill Cokas, contributor to the "Book" and friend of the blog, wants you to know his novel Battle Axe is free for your Kindle today. Give it a read!

"Only today"

I guess this tshirt deal is available all the time. Thanks Sohan.

"3 Loonies"

This canadian carwash has some serious codewords going. And some of those codes are about the greatest nickname of any currency. Thanks Amy.

"All you can" eat

Well, if one thing is undoubtable, it's that you are being asked to eat. Thanks Gretchen.

"Parisian" "restaurant"

Georg spotted this in Paris. As he points out, every word, even the prices, is in quotation marks. Well done, Paris.

My NYC finds

After years of a bunch of you people sending me quotation marks from NYC, I visited the place myself last week, and came back with these two examples from the same place, which apparently has a terribly un-special "breakfast" and whose soups are made by machines.

In other news, New York is fun, I hope to return some time the weather is more pleasant.

"reserved" parking

You can tell how "serious" these folks are about the parking situation. Thanks Nathan.

Sorry for the lack of posts, I was on vacation and didn't feel like posting.

Under "new" Management

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Thanks Milly and Caleb.

"welcome"

I guess you are fake welcomed to this place. Thanks Milly and Caleb.

"make eye contact"

Having taught Public Speaking for nearly eight years, I can tell you, a "smile" and "eye contact" can be worse than nothing. And I have no idea why you would write those things on a pen. Thanks Matt.

If you call that catering

Nobody knows what is involved in their idea of "catering." Thanks Gene.

"no" "pressing" service

Obviously the best part of this is the way it just ends. Also the fake start date. Thanks Mordy.

Dutch landlords, also ambiguous

Triss writes, "Found this note in the hallway of our apartment block. It's in dutch and says that the windows of a certain flat will be replaced on 'tuesday the 13th of november at eight.' I guess they have their doubts on the timeliness of the replacement..."

"wood" for hayrides

I have no idea what this actually means, I assume it's related to this character. Thanks Colleen.

"No" to "alcohol"

Submitter Elise explains that this sign was posted in an Alabama county whose alcohol prohibition was repealed in the last election. The best part, besides the question about what constitutes "alcohol," is the illustration which I think reads Beer Alcohol.

More fake polite

One thing I have learned from running this blog, is that many, many people are not actually sorry for your inconvenience. Thanks Laura.

"cup & ice"

Submitter Zoe writes, "I found this goodie at a festival that serves a lot of strange carnival-type food -- bacon brownies, alligator tail, deep-fried Klondikes and the like. So I guess who knows what that 'cup' or 'ice' could be."

"Voting" thru here

Hannah sent me this during the U.S. election last november (and I just now found it). She should "definitely" not be worried about vote surpression.