tents for whoever

I mean, not YOU obviously. You don't need a tent. Thanks, Becki.

"free" candy

It'll only cost you.... YOUR SOUL! Thanks Lily.

"parents"

So I guess these are questionably qualified parents, and you can't let your kids play with a toy atm for some reason. Thanks Ken.

only applies during breakfast

If you happen to look at this sign after 10 am, "now" does not apply. Thanks, Mai-Trang.

"No Bike Riding"

Submitter Debbie suggests she is supposed to imagine someone telling her not to ride bike, I think it's a big wink to the bike-riders. We'll never know the truth.

These are "empty boxes"

So what's in the boxes? Thanks Alicia.

fishing "prohibited"

I'll let submitter Brendan explain why this one might be acceptable:

The shoulder on this bridge, Mile 49 of Delaware Route 1 in Frederica, is only about 2 feet wide and the posted speed limit is 55 MPH. If I had to walk across this bridge, I would shuffle - no quotes about it.

We sell "boxes"

They sell some box-like items here. Thanks Kristinn.

does not "record"

Like submitter Matthew, I wonder what this tape recorder really does (or doesn't do).

"The Parking Choice"

Ok, I understand that some of you think slogans are ok, but this slogan simultaneously makes no sense and perfect sense, so maybe that's what the quotation marks are meant to signify. Thanks Eli.

"Bleeding" students

BlueSky saw this at the school where s/he works. I don't know what body fluids they want to include in "bleeding" nor do I want to think about it anymore.

Uh.... robot cage.

Obviously, a salutation asking for my attention is not necessary when your sign includes the words ROBOT CAGE. What is a robot cage? Why are they sarcastic about thanking you? ROBOTS! Thanks Henry.

"worship" at the "gazebo"

I guess you may or may not be invited to some event at some place. Thanks T.

schrodinger's smoking area

I guess some smokers can go ahead and smoke in this area. Thanks Mcmuffin.

Some lady's salon

Do hairstylists have the equivalent of a pen name or stage name? Is "Colleen" somebody's, uh, scissors name? Thanks CFE.

So-called escalator

I am now really curious what kind of pseudo-escalator they have going. I'd follow the advice and hold the handrail, that's for sure. Thanks Jenny.

sooo.... meth lab?

Here's where they keep their "things" for doing "science." You get the picture. Thanks Ty.

"award winning" "guinness"

I guess they have some off-brand stout that has only won bogus awards. Thanks Ryan.

most bikes welcome

I guess there are a few bikes we don't allow, but the rest of you are cool. Thanks Rebecca.

Park Code

So I can only assume these codes are about something happening in the "park." Thanks Shannon.

Bread Waste "only"

I guess some bread-like waste could make its way into this basket also. Thanks Brian.

alleged ribs

Here is a place that has some fake foods. Thanks Kate.

Right on.

I can't find a way to read this where it makes sense. Not even sideways "blog" sense! So that's impressive. Thanks Dieter.

Or do use it?

This is the special door for people who take punctuation literally I guess. Thanks Dieter.

It's "over"

I guess with this machine, your ironing is just beginning. Thanks Cathy and Cinnamon.

Quotation Marks Approved: street vender edition

Julian and Nina spotted this on a NYC street vendor, and I think given the context and the price, "designer" jewelry is exactly what this vendor has. Keep on keeping on with those quotation marks, buddy.

EDITED: a reader made me the excellent stamp of approval I have now applied to this image. Thanks, friend!

"Paper" items only

I guess anything relatively papery works here? Thanks Steven.

"select" consignment

This image led me to some deep thinking about what the word "select" even means. Do they mean that they don't make selections about what they sell? Or sometimes they do? I'm so confused. Thanks Erin.

fake polite plastic bag

This bag is both sort of rude and may or may not be recycled. Thanks Stephen!

Second place, maybe

Listen, Mike, you have a pretty good nickname, and imma let you finish, but "City" Block has the greatest real estate nickname of ALL TIME. Thanks Jessica.

taxi "service"

I guess after experiencing the "service" you might feel inclined to use quotation marks also. Thanks Sam.

This "Pantry" is an Untenable Situation

Margo found this at her work. I assume what I would call a kitchen or kitchenette a pantry is a regionalism, perhaps the sign-writer is from somewhere else and uses it while holding his or her nose.

"All day" seafood specials

Don't try asking for these "all day" specials at any time of the day. They don't mean it literally. Thanks Autumn.

make "lemon-aid"

Submitter Nona explains, "I infer that 'lemon-aid' is made of yellow flowers while lemonade is the correct spelling they couldn't remember."

"quality education"

This letter came from Jack's son's high school principal. Apparently these kids get a borderline education in an indifferent environment.

"inside" the boundary

Yeah, they really "mean" these "instructions." Thanks Cyndi.

As the kids are calling it

Submitter Joseph suggests we should really use the more technical term, "dinosaur juice."

not "through"

So, um, through is ok but there is some other preposition you should avoid. Thanks Catherine.

"free" class

Maybe by "free" they mean "included in the price of your spine surgery." Thanks Elizabeth.

"clean plate"

Hey, if it came out of our dishroom, that's "clean" ok? I don't care if it has stuff on it. Thanks Joy.

"partnership reception"

I guess the business partners in this "reception" don't count as real partners? The rainbow people make it more confusing. Thanks Vincent.

save through the "back door"

The submitter who emailed this as Lone Locust of the Apocalypse spotted this on the vanguard.com homepage and also jokes, "I wonder if this investment strategy involves paying out the ass."

Well, so it is

Ok, I know some of you believe that putting a slogan in quotation marks is perfectly acceptable. I maintain that it is not, strictly speaking, NECESSARY. In this case, I had to post this because it's the most gloriously un-debateable slogan I've ever seen. Paralegal is, indeed, "a career in law." Thanks Jessie.

Special "fish"

Well, it really is special, but I wonder what that "fish" is really made out of? I'm hoping it's tofu and not, like, algae. Thanks Ben.

Alleged low prices

That's right kids, an asterisk AND quotation marks, *free and "low prices" this junk is going to cost you. Thanks Jonathan.

over the "edge"

You know, usually in menus there seems some kind of logic to the words in quotation marks. In this case, I have no idea what "EDGE" they are referring to, or if "you" could actually do it. Thanks Alice.