in the vicinity of now

Also, I hope that marsmellow is some wonderful thing I don't know about and not just a misspelling of marshmallow. Thanks Jack.

"lettuces"

 

 Maybe all of these greens are just iceberg? Thanks Jon.

"ask" about "catering"

So wait, is it real catering, and how are you supposed to find out about it? Thanks Bata.

"fresh" chickens and "christmas" hams

All of these meats come with questionable adjectives. Fun! Thanks Simon.

"... it's a salon"

Perhaps the most straightforward yet foreboding slogan ever? Thanks Adam.

in the funny pages

A few friends of the blog have sent me a link to this comic, I thought y'all might appreciate it as well.

not here in the window, that's just ridiculous

I wonder how far from the sign you have to get to find Lithuanian food's and beer's... (now with bonus apostrophes!) Thanks Tim in the UK.

We "Cater"

I can only imagine what their "catering" service might include. Maybe some uncooked ingredients and a camp-stove? Thanks Melissa.

"Albino" "Gators"

I can only assume what they actually have are stuffed gators which they have spray painted white. Thanks Todd.

Swedish quotation marks

Submitter Petter writes:

Regrettably this snapshot of a slide in a presentation of medical case reports at a Swedish hospital is of very poor quality. If your Swedish is a bit rusty, the headline and the first paragraph translates as:

Case 2 on the medical emergency ward A

Unconscious man, 20-25 years of age arriving by ambulance. Found in a “public” restroom.

I have no idea just what the quotation marks implies here, but they sound more than a little insinuating to me. A mystery best left unsolved, perhaps.

What, light cancer?

Maybe Bonnie really has something like this. Thanks Dan.

Kitties "in training"

Submitter Olivia notes: we wondered whether "phhhht" was the little grey cat's response to being labelled as having an "attitude."

"hot water" you say?

I'm assuming based on the presence of quotation marks and the word reefer this has something to do with marijuana. Thanks Jani.

Blog on the radio

This blog was recently featured on PRI's World in Words podcast. If you want to listen in, the whole episode is pretty interesting, but as you can see from the blogpost, the quotation marks are about halfway in. (thanks for the headsup Mike!)

so... I just go in here?

I wonder where the "front" door is. Thanks Mike.

"General Mills"

I wonder who REALLY makes this cereal. Thanks Jasmine.

"great" food

Submitter David says the food was actually good, so maybe the store window considers itself subject to the objectivity rules of journalism. WE would never make such a value judgment, but somebody else said it was "Great" and we're reporting it.

if you call those apples

Submitter Chris says just becuase he wasn't sure what they really were didn't keep him from buying 7 pounds. They look pretty... apple-y.

"knobs"

I have to confess, I adore the knob/handle pun here, but I could have gotten it without the quotation marks, which are making me wonder if "knobs" are euphemisms for something... Thanks Michael.

uh... ok

Lauren saw this in front of a house in North Philly. She does not mention whether sitting or standing in front of strangers' houses is a normal thing, nor does she offer any ideas about the quotation mark in the middle of the word not. I assume the ending is both a movie quote and a firearms threat, but I can imagine a few other quotations as well...

Oh, are you?

Submitter Chloe says this Chicago busker was singing Barry Manilow's "Mandy." Or was he?

Do not really be cautious

Actually, we prefer that you run, head first, into the closed area of the sidewalk, but we have to pretend to care about your safety, for legal reasons. Thanks Wendy.

New to YOU maybe

I don't know what a Sno Blitz is, but it's old news to somebody. Thanks Carol.

Commode is totally serious though

Things about this that I love: 1) The picture of Charlie Chaplin (?) 2) the quotation marks around the clinical-sounding "urine drops" but not the euphemistic "commode." 3) everything. Thanks John.

"Yogurt"

Jody caught this one on TV, which is pretty impressive. I guess that was anthrax yogurt?

Overhead Doors

This one is a real winner because of the technically incorrect nesting, in addition to the double-doubtfulness about the existence of other overhead door professionals. Whatever those are. Thanks Kerry.

"fussy outside"

I don't know what a "fussy outside" eater is, I hope it's a weird translation of a Chinese expression. So jury's out about how appropriate or inappropriate it is. Thanks Johnna.

Wash them "by hand"

My guess here is that washing "by hand" involves leaving it for somebody else to do. Sounds great! Thanks Corey.

Ah, "children"

Also applies to child-like adults and pets considered members of the family. Thanks Carey.

Fake diseases?

Submitter Adam writes, "The liberal use of quote marks has me wondering just how much the shot really costs, and what - if anything - it really prevents."

Closed "Mondays"

Only valid for values of "you" who do not wish to receive said service on "Mondays." Thanks Mike.

"service dogs"

Slap a vest on your family pet and you're probably good to go. Thanks Kitri.

"catch & release"

I guess pretending to catch or pretending to release are ok. Thanks, Erin.

"Help Yourself"

I guess the expression "help yourself" is a bit colloquial for these classy characters. Thanks David.

These are not the droids you are looking for

Repeat after me, "we're affordable." Thanks Adam.

"doing" stuff

I have no idea what it is, and whether or not it is something you can "do" but, uh, The Midcounties Co-operative has. Thanks Will.

Made from soylent green

I guess there's more than just tomatoes in that sauce. Thanks Genevieve.