"enjoy" and feel "happy"

Tim writes, "I think that they want us to hate the music. It was pretty good though."

"room" available

Maybe by "room" they mean a few square feet of floor you can curl up on? Thanks Robert.

"out of service" elevators

I wonder what kinds of "operational issues" they are talking about. Do elevators have intestines? Thanks Matt.

"dog bedding"

Based on what my cat likes to sleep on, this is either an old recliner, or a pile of dirty laundry. Thanks Clint.

More "fresh fish"

Possibly not even fish! Certainly not fresh! Thanks Seva.

"tilapia" filets

So what's funny about this is what tilapia was what we started eating when the cod were running out. Thanks Rachel.

return "clipboards"

I wonder what they were really giving people to write on at this DMV. Thanks Amanda.

you know, "hip"

Sounds like a place for some wild and crazy guys! Thanks MPR.

for "vegetarians"

"Vegetarian" night here must be like at my house. It still counts if some chicken stock sneaks in... Thanks Stefania.

(don't worry vegetarian friends, I would never deceive you.)

or do you?

This is leading me to question the quality and speed of this delivery. Thanks Matthew.

Our Fresh "Bagels"

So more like doughnuts I guess? Thanks Michael.

"only" some cards

This place is really "exclusive." Thanks Ben.

Ask for "Fresh Fish"

Nothing sounds delicious like "fresh fish". Thanks Mike.

"always" or near always or almost every time

Can we imply that not every time is really, totally, completely necessary? There you go, quotation marks. Thanks Tod.

"restroom closed for cleaning"

I wonder what they're really doing in there. Thanks Matt.

no "plucking"

Wow. This sounds so dirty. Thanks Sohan, who spotted this in Dubai.

"Furnace Room"

I wonder what's really in this room, and how "hot" it is... Thanks Dan.

It's "only" 65 cents

Submitter Stephen suggests they aren't so persuaded that their own coffee is a good deal.

No girls allowed!... ever!

I love pretty much everything about the syntax of this sign. but I guess it's not that temporary. Thanks DH.

wink wink

I guess you can open some bottles, but good luck figuring out which. Thanks, Mike.

if you say so

Sheila spotted this at the Owl Art Museum in Seoul. She says the bathroom did smell very nice.

"jackpot is"

I guess there really is no jackpot. Thanks R.

The "collector"

Here's something for your inner hoarder! Thanks Monca.

"cigarettes" best in town

These "cigarettes" definitely are better than the other exact same things you can buy elsewhere. Thanks David.

Handicapped "only"

I guess if you fake a handicap, that's good enough. Thanks Susie and Chaeli.

more or less legal

There seems to be some confusion about the seriousness of the ID laws in Japan. Thanks Cathy.

tracing "punctuation"

This one is so meta, I'm not sure what to even make of the punctuation around punctuation. Is it ok because it's self-referential? Is it not actually about punctuation? Thanks MPR.

"The" Rivalry

Alissa who submitted this screencap suggests if they are going to acknowledge other rivalries, perhaps they should just go with "a rivalry."

(No love lost, though, as a Calvin alum. Best rivalry in Div III! Go Knights!)

no trustpassing

Obviously YOU are accepted. Go ahead and trustpass all you want. Whatever that is. Thanks Gavin.

1/2 price "all"

I guess really most of these things are half price. Thanks Jessica.


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"Driver" needed

I'm not even sure if these are quotation marks, but they are so weird and funny I had to post them. Thanks Helen.

only the "blue" slips

I think there's some disagreement about slip color. Maybe they are more aqua. Thanks Matt.

sweets "from the jar"

I wonder where those sweets really come from. The factory? Thanks Leon.

"Share" this photo

Submitter Phillip writes, "I’ve done exactly what they asked. I bet I’m the 'winner.'"

"guaranteed"

I guess if you think your rate is only kinda low they don't care. Thanks S S.

"free" toppings

I think the word you are looking for here is "included." Thanks Nick.

"go" giants

I guess these sports fans aren't fully committed. Or maybe they know that sometimes to win, you also need to "stop." Thanks Adam.

"Sandwich"

Submitter Millar doesn't specify what's beneath this sign, which allows me to only imagine the range of things between other things that might be here. Or not between other things, I guess.

London "England"

I really hope that they make trips to London and Kingston Ontario. Thanks Ian.

"stuff" you say?

I guess the person selling this "stuff" thinks of it as more akin to "junk." Thanks Hopita.

fake polite jewelry store

I guess the word they really wanted to lead off with wasn't appropriate. Thanks Hopita.

New Orleans "Cuisine"

Just eat this "Cuisine" which is definitely food you should definitely ingest. Thanks Emily.

featuring "organic"

Submitter Austin explains, "This sign is on all the parking spots at Mildred's Big City Food in Gainesville, FL. Their clientele is generally up there in age, so maybe they are trying to give them a heads up about the 'organic' craze or something."

"catering"

Submitter Mark writes, "Found this gem while at a 'catered' lecture. Didn't stop me from eating the barbecue though."

your "plumber"

I guess this is just a guy who has a plunger in his van. Thanks Eleanor.

Apartment for something

I wonder what they really expect you to do to the apartment. Thanks Rebecca.

"touch history"

Ok, History. Just show me on this doll where you were touched. Thanks anonymous submitter.

"music event booking"

This is definitely a "legitimate" "business." Thanks Jessica.

"free" can of soda

I guess there's no such thing as free soda. Thanks Aaron.

Don't be a "pig"

To be fair, literal pigs probably don't have pets. Thanks Andrew.