"sour" cream

I guess it's only a little bit sour. Thanks Cooper.

did you "date" the file?

Laura sent this from her work. I don't have much to add beyond what someone else has already written on the file folder.

"mountain view"

I guess they paint the mountains inside the hotel rooms. Thanks Sarah.

"quality"

I guess these tacos are borderline. Thanks Jason.

they warned us

I think if you call your cafe Quotations you get a free pass. Probably. Thanks Camden for giving me a reason to want to visit Brevard NC.

"water" cups

I guess these are the cups for drinking straight vodka. Thanks Ethan.

"handmade"

Just to be clear, fish is not something anybody makes with hands. Unless "mom" is code for God? Thanks Mark.

out of "order"

Really, this machine doesn't have an order. No "orders" here. Thanks A.

"baskets"

I guess the person who made this sign is a purist when it comes to basket construction. Thanks Randy.

"monday"

Your pretend Mondays no longer exist. Thanks Mark.

fresh "off" the boat

Wait, they are still on the boat? They floated here in those little wooden crates???? Thanks Diana.

Buying "Gold"

Bring your fools gold here! Thanks Colin.

special-ish

These pineapple chunks are not special at all. Not even a little bit. Thanks Jamie and Jack.

"gluten" free

These sausages may or may not have gluten, which these people may or may not believe is a real thing. Thanks Matt.

Eat some "fish"

I guess it's not really made out of fish? Thanks Cynthia.

"use the kitchen"

Submitter Ashley and I both wonder what "use the kitchen" is a euphemism for.

"new" dresses

I guess these dresses might be gently used... Thanks Justin.

the horrifying clown

Sounds like Coco is nothing but "laughs." Thanks Abbey.

leave "on"

My dad spotted this at his physical therapist's office. I guess if the light actually turns itself off, it's not really on, OR IS IT????

paper-esque

Here's a barrel for whatever. As long as you pretend it's paper. Thanks to John, who spotted this in my hometown Holland, MI.

'Tis the season for fake soups

You know, for such a wide-open food genre, I sure see a lot of pretend soup on this blog. Thanks John.

AppSmitten

I had the chance to be part of an affiliate program to spread the word about a new email newsletter called AppSmitten. AppSmitten reviews the best apps for iphone, ipad and android. I don't usually do these kinds of paid posts, as you all know, but I actually think this is a great idea, and the kind of thing you all might be interested in. I think that because I was interested, and signed right up! If you want to find out more, or receive the newsletter for a while, visit their website through this link.

(Disclosure: I get a small payment when folks use my link to sign up.)

follow "instructions"

I wonder what kind of horrible instructions there are. Maybe in pictures only? Thanks Eric.

or whatever your name is

Amanda didn't offer me any context for this, but it looks like a bathroom stall perhaps? Somebody loves "Neil" so much she (or he) doesn't care what Neil's true identity is.

Some kind of camping sale

I wonder what this one is code for. One thing is for sure: camping is involved. Thanks Justin.

the owner's kid?

This sign-maker seems skeptical about localness and artistry of this stick-maker. Thanks Mike.

semi-authentic

No victorian time travelers to verify, I guess? Thanks Alice.

oh, "must" I?

These instructions seem a bit insincere, can't tell why.... Ok, I actually can. Thanks Jeff.

as smoky the bear says

I guess "It's a Fire Hazard"is code for "It's an Eye Sore." Thanks Amy.

hot as in stolen?

Oh man, these drinks are so.... "hot." Thanks Kate.

What's the "O" for?

Orleans right? Orleans? That's what this is about. Thanks Jeremy.

According to us

I guess whether you think auto parts are "neat" or not depends on your interests. Thanks Morgan.

Vampire cop

I support this mythical undead cop too, I'd hate to learn what happens if I don't. Thanks Bryce.

Fake cave this way

Step right this way, into a "cave" that is definitely not a trap at all. Thanks Jessica.

"no questions"

Erin saw this at CTA headquarters in Chicago. I don't know how they are "servicing" customers, or what kinds of questions are actually ok, but the lady was giving Erin a dirty look for taking the picture, so extrapolate as you will.

what makes shoes "dirty"?

If your footwear likes blue humor, you gotta cover it up. Thanks John.

"infrared heaters" eh?

I wonder what kinds of things they really sell in addition to regular heaters. Thanks Jessica.

"no" "cheating" "here"

I wonder what Ed really scored. Thanks Liam.

Wait, you don't brew this beer?

I wonder how they really make it. Thanks, Jim.

"this" is it

Maybe your station is actually somewhere else? Thanks Iris.

what's "car" code for?

I guess everyone at this place drives giant trucks and truck-like vehicles. Thanks James.

or so they claim

Ok, so technically, Jimmy Buffett did sing those words, but didn't write the song. So, uh, I don't know. Also, usually you put quotation marks on the quotation part. Thanks Katie.

"take" it "out"

Oh man, two of my favorite things! Sandwiches and quotation marks! I don't care where you take them or not! Thanks Charlie.

Or another preposition

So, wait, are they on the lobby? over? around? Thanks Duncan.

as you call them

So this box contains the contraband, I guess. Thanks Amber.

"unless otherwise"

Carlyle sent me this one, and I'm honestly not sure if the quotations make it more or less certain. I would be afraid to park there, maybe ever, for any length of time.

"french" fries

These fries are really as American as apple pie. Thanks Briana.

"place for soccer"

I think this is the first time somebody sent me a screenshot from streetview. And I guess it's not really your place for soccer. Thanks Darrell.

Reading "award"

Jeff sent me this himself; I'll just reprint his delightful email:

I just came across this award that I got in first grade. It took me 19 years, but I'm onto your "sense of humor" now, Mrs. Groff. By the way, I really did read those 80 "books."

We have it "now"

I guess these bagels are available now-ish. Thanks Julianne.

confusing punctuator dentist

So some people aren't big fans of me making fun of slogans within quotation marks, but the single-double mismatch here puts it well over the edge into ridiculous. Daniel spotted this in Caulfield, Melbourne, Australia.