Add some "spice"

I guess these aren't actual spices, then? Thanks Carolina.

"Everyday"

I guess this happy hour only occurs occasionally. Thanks, Edna.

Since "1954"

I guess they started this company a bit later. Or earlier, but don't talk about that part. Thanks Lori.

You know....

I mean, it's probably not the real Santa. And I'm sure they'll find a way to charge for it. So... I guess this might be ok. Thanks Elaine.

"happy" "holidays"

Consider this greeting especially for you from the blog. "Happy" "Holidays!" And thanks for sending me this Michelle.

"Made in USA"

I guess "Made in USA" is a code for some particular type of item. Thanks Claire.

Don't Walk on "New Plants"

I guess these plants just have the nickname "new plants." Thanks Sarah.

Editorial note: sorry for the light posting around the holidays. Busy with family and travel.

Kindle sale almost over

It is my understanding that today is the last day to get the Kindle edition of The Book of Unnecessary Quotation Marks for only $1.99. The hardcover or digital version continue to be a great last minute gift. If the punctuation lover in your family already owns my book, and you still need a gift, I made this pinboard to help you out.

So Yankee tea?

  

I guess the tea could be sweeter. Thanks Shannon.

"do not talk to strangers"

Katie saw this one on a fundraising packet from her kids. I guess they are giving lip-service to the no-strangers thing, but would gladly take strangers money if you decide to ignore it.

"Out of service"

I guess you can use this if you want. Whenever. Thanks Jason.

"Mexico"

I guess "fresh" and "Mexico" are the nicknames of these guavas. Thanks Desmond.

observe pretend caution

This sidewalk is really "dangerous" I guess. Thanks Nancy.

Quotation Marks on Pinterest

I'm trying something new, and pinning a few of my favorite posts from time to time to this pinboard. I'd love it if you would check it out and repin your favorites!

For "joint" diseases

Are these, like, diseases that people were supposed to work on together but really one person did everything? Thanks Harry.

"hot sauce"

I guess this is for wimps who want something that is not particularly hot or saucy. Thanks Sandra.

"bookcases"

We know you're going to use these for figurines and dvds, but we'll call them "bookcases" anyway. Thanks Mike.

"Water" will be off

I guess the secret orange juice faucets will be turned off in this building (or were in the past.. sorry I'm so behind on posting these). Thanks David.

"watch" your step

I guess you need not actually stare at your feet when you "watch" your step here. Thanks Christie.

now serving "beer"

So..... light beer? Thanks Sarah.

Customers "Only"

I guess there's not really a limit to who can go. Thanks Peter.

"cardboard" "only"

Just put any old thing in this trash bin. Thanks Jason.

"delicious water"

Submitter Matthew says he spotted this next to a drinking fountain in Kumamoto, Japan. I wonder what really comes out of the fountain, and what it tastes like!

Walk-ins are "welcome"

I guess walk-ins are only mildly welcomed here. Thanks Chuck.

donut quotation

Obviously, this is a famous quote from the owner of this place or something. Thanks Charlie.

throwing apples "over fence"

I guess if you throw the apples near the fence, it's totally ok. Thanks John and Heather.

Reminder: the Kindle edition of the unnecessary quotation marks book is still available for $1.99, but won't be that cheap forever!

"New" store hours

I guess these are the same old store hours. Thanks Stuart.

"take a picture"

 

I like the implication that "take a picture" is too slangy to go quote-free. Thanks Pete.

Your "Garden"

That pathetic thing you call a "garden?" Sure. Well buy this stuff for it I guess. Thanks John.

Toughest cop "alive"

Zombie cop? The Terminator? Vampire? How scared should I be about this, as a law-abiding citizen? Thanks Rachel.

Soft Drink Wars continue?

I guess this person has only partially acquiesced to the local term "pop." Thanks Will.

"margaritas" are our specialty

Here is a restaurant that specializes in fake margaritas. Thanks Erica.

"Glass"

I guess what we have here is fake glass. Thanks Charles.

"Please don't Tailgate"

I loved submitter Alexander's email about this:

All I could think of as I was tailgating this guy for the picture was the Onion-style headline if I crashed:

"Area Pedant Dies in Car Crash While Ironically Photographing Unnecessary Quotation Marks"

eBook of Unnecessary Quotation Marks on sale now!

For a limited time, the kindle edition of the book based on this blog is available for only $1.99! It's a breezy read ideal for holiday travel or to show off a brand new device. Click the link above to purchase!

While you're thinking about it, the dead tree edition makes a great christmas gift for anybody who loves language. Here's a link to that version on amazon:



You can also purchase from a variety of other retailers, or ask for it at your local bookseller.

"police" take notice

I guess only a the fake police really take notice of your loitering. Though that might be worse. Thanks Zaliah.

"Garage" Sale

Submitter Kitri points out that these quotation mars are ALSO exclamation points. Simultaneously sarcastic and enthusiastic!

"Large bag" of chips is still medium sized at best

When I was posting this picture I found an older picture of the same thing in my file, which I posted in 2008.  Guys. The price went up, but these chips are still not in a truly large bag. Thanks Brendan.

Reserved for "Kathy"

So if I park in this space, am I by default now "Kathy"? Because I think I could live with that. Thanks Margo.

that's right, "ham burgers"

It's hard to choose a favorite thing about this sign, but I'm going with how long it took me to figure out what they meant by "ham burgers." I wonder if they are really made out of ham. Thanks to Beth, who also reports that the "turkey legs" appeared to be actual turkey and were very good.

Parking "$30"

I guess the parking actually costs however much they say, because what are you going to do about it? Thanks Morgan.

"hotter" water

The submitter writes "The unfortunate thing is, I was too busy mocking the quotes to actually absorb the intended message. I totally burned myself."

"debit" cards

Who knows what kind of cards they actually accept, or what role safety actually plays. Thanks Isaac.

so....

I guess students should do a variety of things in or near the teacher's lounge? Thanks Erica.

Landlord version of "tomorrow"

I wonder when submitter Norite's air conditioning finally got fixed.

"only" staff

I like how this appears to be a statement of fact, and also an order, but involves some hedging. Thanks Dave.

"all employee's"

So I guess that's the title or something. Thanks Andrew.

"exterminator"

Look out for that exterminator impersonator. Thanks Taylor.

"the original"

So what's really impressive is that Adam got two different sets of unnecessary quotation marks in one fabulous nighttime photo of Atlanta GA. I guess this is where you can get a knockoff J.R. Crickets under fake surveillance.

"gett them"

This sign, spotted by Meredith in a downtown Toronto store window, is really remarkable because of the density of unusual language choices. I can only assume this might be written in some other language that is remarkably similar to standard edited English.

"tshirt" sale

I guess it's more like a turtleneck? Thanks Mike.