for "water"

So I guess it's ok for vodka also. Thanks, Paula.

"local" greens

I guess these greens came quite a ways. Thanks, John.

"edible" crafts

I guess they aren't that tasty, but they aren't toxic. Thanks, Tonya.

Jager "bombs"

Don't worry, guys. It's not a real bomb. I mean, I wouldn't talk about it in airport security... Thanks, Joanna.

Please "no" bags

I guess a "few" bags might be ok. Thanks, Scott.

we feign caring

It's ok, I don't actually care about the restroom either. Thanks Justin.

or some other address

Gregory spotted this in NYC. I choose to believe that it is a former speakeasy. Or current speakeasy.

Strings Attached

I guess the clothing is not as free as you might believe. Thanks, Meredith.

guest parking "only"

I guess it's not as exclusive as they imply. Thanks, Camille.

not that special

If these pineapple chunks come out of a can, then "special" it is. Thanks, Katie.

"do not" climb

Be-awair. And maybe you should climb... at your own risk... bwahahaha! Thanks, Amanda.

As a note, I've caught a virus that is sure making a good go of it and planning to travel for the holidays, so please excuse any past or future accidental days off on the blog. I'll do my best to keep up with posting, but sometimes life happens.

"No Bull" you say?

This makes it sound like the bull pictured will definitely be there. Thanks, Howard.

"sorry"

These folks are not sorry about their days off at all. Thanks, Agnieszka.

"24 months" special

I guess this lease lasts a random length of time. Thanks, Justin.

for "executives"

I guess any schmo in a suit can have this special. Thanks, Justin.

sure you are

I see your eyes glazed over. Thanks, Baily.

"do not" put nothing

It's rare to see both quotation marks and a double negative. What does it MEAN??? Thanks, Amy.

that's a new one

Ok, I've never seen so many quotation marks, arranged so confusingly. Thanks, Jon.

"wet" paint

Submitter Elia explains:

While it's true that by the time I got home the paint was merely "wet," I'm not sure if the folks my landlady has painting are really concerned about whether I touch it or not. I'm also not sure if maybe they're referring to the band the Doors, since that looks like a possessive apostrophe after the word. My husband, being generous, suggests that perhaps all those stray marks are actually meant as artistic renderings indicating splattered paint.

nice practical joke

Looks like some people are signing up to learn some fake Hindi. Thanks, David.

"enjoy our good nature"

I assume this is a reference to a song or quotation that I've never heard of. Thanks, Kevin.

just "refrigerate" it

Actually, we prefer you put it in an old-style ice box, but we'll accept what you've got. Thanks, Natalie.

Pull "hard"

I mean don't put that much effort into it, we'd like to keep the hinges. Thanks, Patrick.

how's the "customer service"

Wow, the quotation marks on this one really make it seem like something sketchy is going on, leading to a different kind of "satisfaction." Thanks, Kyle.

meet some "ladies"

The anonymous submitter of this image did not comment on how lady-like the bunko-players were in fact.

good advice nonetheless

This is obviously from the oracle of stapler instructions. A quotation. Thanks, Patrick.

Deposit "here"

You know, here-ish. Deposit your liquids and gels... somewhere. Thanks, Neal.

Well. Right.

I'll let Elizabeth explain this one, "This sign is near my home in Seoul, South Korea. I don't understand it, but I think they deserve extra credit for the artistic placement of the closing quotation."

add a "$1"

Just toss a Monopoly dollar in there, and the crust in this weird picture is all yours. Thanks, Jason.

vaguely defined area

No kids in the "area" where kids are bothering me. Just go with it. Thanks, Nick.

A series of poems on the topic of fire safety

These may be song lyrics also. On the topic of fire safety. Hard to say. But the list of equipment is just a list. Thanks Trent.

priced "higher"

I guess even the sign-writer isn't that impressed with $3 as a "higher" price. Thanks, Matt.

"sharp claws"

These bunnies claim to have claws, but really they just don't want to be touched. Thanks, Darryl.

"nickels"

You know, my grandpa used to always say to me "don't take no wooden nickles!" I assume that's what this sign is about. Maybe they knew my grandpa. Thanks, Mike.

don't "touch"

Don't do that "I'm not touching it" thing either. Thanks, Jared.

one-ish pumpkin

Yeah yeah quotation marks, but what's really important here is that pumpkins cost TWICE AS MUCH AS BUS DRIVERS. Thanks, Richard.

well, technically off line, eh?

I think the fact that the booking system isn't working makes these quotation marks remarkably apt, but I'm still glad Markus sent it to me.

clean-ish

This is in the kitchen at Alicia's work. I guess the people who wash the dishes do a lousy job.

is it a floor mat, or not?

Ok, commentariat. This is technically just some paper. Does that make the quotation marks correct? Thanks for the submission, Bata.

good infome-ing

So much awesome, so little time. I guess they lowered their prices by lowering their quality? Thanks, Eric.

"garden goodies"

As one person called it one time, here are our "garden goodies." Thanks, Bata.

off the "wagon"

You see, the wagon here is a visual metaphor for... uh... the economy? Thanks, Alan.

cigarette code

I wonder if all the "special" cigarettes in "all kinds" and "all brands" really have the same "special" additive. Thanks, Jeremy.

some of us are closed "sunday's"

Matt spotted this at a fishing store, which might explain for some what ice up is, but I prefer ignorance, because it's funnier. I also will stay ignorant about what constitutes "Sunday's".

it's really me who wins

In this case, the kids threw until the attendant gets frustrated and cheats for them. Thanks Georg.

Free* lobster or shrimp

*Lobster or Shrimp "free" in exchange for a previous purchase and your firstborn child. Thanks, Andrew.

as teh kids say...

You know, if the slanginess of "U" in place of "you" bothers you enough to put quotation marks on it, consider just spelling the word out. Thanks, Tamara.

Ultimate "french fries"

I guess these fries are so excellent they barely qualify? Thanks, Jason.

"professionals"

I guess they aren't professionals until, um, they make a sale? Thanks, Jessica.

"totally" "real"

"This" "food" isn't "sketchy" at all! It's "Just grapes!" hahaha. haha. ha. Thanks, Laura.