You did "select" it...

See, if you picked it, that makes it a "select" cut. Thanks, Karen.

Seasonal

This sign comes to me every year on Halloween, because the LAPD puts it up every year. They are obviously quietly condoning the use of silly string, and have been for years, since it is "illegal" and you will be charged a "fine." Thanks for this year's installment, Maggie.

It's going to be "funny"

I guess this magician is full of terrible attempts at jokes. Thanks, William.

Restrooms "Up Stairs"

I wonder where this mystical place "up stairs" really is? Thanks, Jason.

obligatory domestic beer joke

Maybe all they sell here is root beer. Thanks, Geralyn.

or some kind of meal

The "oatmeal" they serve here must be made out of something "delicious." Thanks, Hopita.

About 6?

If one person is really big or small, use your judgment? Thanks Michael.

euphemism golf

We should make a sign for the golf course. Make sure to use all the "golfer" "lingo" on it. Thanks, Keith.

"ring bell 1x only"

I guess this is a.... song... that we can sing about ringing bells. Thanks, Mandy.

pay "here"

I guess you don't have to stand exactly where the sign is to pay. Thanks, Andy.

"vegan" foods at "happy hour"

Submitter Cody didn't mention any digestive reactions from real vegans eating "vegan" food, so I'm not sure if these quotes are necessary or not. "Happy hour" though, does not require actual happiness.

how about just "times"

Submitter Lucia suggests, "I guess they don't guarantee having an actual good time. "

fake cherries?

I guess they have some non-cherry fruit. Please also note the decorative quotation marks on the arrows. Thanks Jane!

suuuure

On the spot financing: myth or song? Thanks, Angela.

fake market, fake corn

I don't know what fake sweet corn is like, but it's apparently available at this pretend market. Thanks, Angela.

happy-ish?

Here's an insincere "special" birthday wish for two people. Thanks, SJ.

"do not" sit there

I like that this one came pre-edited. Thanks, Ashley.

use shopping "baskets"

If you use a "basket" instead of a (quotation-mark-free) bag, I don't know if you'll be fulfilling "requirements" or what. Thanks, Lindsay.

"wings and wheels"

This is a sign for an auto/air show, which explains the name, but not why they insist on including it in quotation marks in this sign and another one! Thanks, Susan.

well, it's yours NOW

Turn that stolen gold and diamonds into something unrecognizable! Thanks, Teresa.

"just any" radiator people

I guess more like "some" radiator people. Thanks Jana for the photo and telling me that this vehicle is called a bakkie in South Africa.

not a real wrap?

Ok, this got better when I read the email it came with and realized that Cameron is the one who sent me this, and they named the wrap after him because he orders it all the time. But maybe they are skeptical on his idea that it's actually a wrap.

It's a "yummy" burger

I guess they aren't that crazy about their veggie patties. Thanks, Sarah.

or is it?

I like that there are two opening quotes for one closing quote AND none of them really make sense. Thanks Joel.

"kick-off"

Just to be clear, this is church, there will be no literal kicking. But there is a football my that creepy mannequin to remind you where the "kick-off" metaphor comes from. Thanks, Bryan.

Lunch Special on "sunday"

I guess if there's a lunch special, it's "sunday." Thanks, Chuck.

fold "first"

You can do other things FIRST first, like have a drink of water, or talk to a friend. Thanks, David.

"Burger" Company

These "Burgers" are totally something you'd like to put in your mouth. Thanks, Erin.

"with feta"

I wonder what's really on these gyros. Thanks, Abby.

"all day" price

This length of time is so approximate, it needs DOUBLE quotation marks. Thanks, Troy.

get yer "nothing" here

This cupboard is totally reserved for things that "don't exist." Ok? ok. Thanks Rob.

Dried "Truffles"

These "truffles" are really "authentic." You rae not paying top dollar for an imitation "at all." Thanks, Carly!

most times

I mean, when I don't feel like breakfast, I don't care how "anytime" it is, I'm not selling it to you. Deal. Thanks, Bryan.

"estimates" as you call them

I'm still allowing Home Depot to buzz market their brand by frequent appearances on this blog. Pip spotted this one, in a place where they have joke "forms" for you to fill out.

"the wig"

I guess this one is called "the wig." Over there is "the animal" and "the toupee." Thanks, Kerry, Tom and Jill.

or many whales

My parents had a speaking engagement at this camp a few weeks ago. I guess this wall is not about any whale in particular. Thanks, mom!

as the song says

This is clearly a reference to the famous "Deck may be slippery when wet" song, that we all love to sing. Everybody! Thanks, Marc.

"uncles"

Gretchen writes, "While I value the sentiment here, I worry about the notion of people pretending to be my uncle."

Alleged volunteers

Ashley spotted this at a clearinghouse where she was sincerely volunteering, sorting and preparing donated shoes for orphans around the world. However, the hard work and the quotation marks combined for an ominous effect indeed!

or is it?

I think the fact that these quotation marks are on only half the sentence makes it more clearly about doubt, and not marking the slogan. Thanks, Andria.

"family" restaurant

Sorry for the downtime, folks. I was out of town for a long weekend and too busy to pre-post in the run-up. Back now. Here's an example of a mob-owned restaurant, right? Thanks, Liz.

bought for "cash"

See, you bring in your car, we give you some counterfeit money. Thanks, Denise.

doing "plumbing work"

I'll spare you my first thought when I saw this sign. Thanks, Veronica.

as we call it

That's not the real name of the place, it's really called "restaurant" but "the cafe" is its nickname. Thanks, Will.

"pizza" and "soda"

Andy jokes that to him, Pepsi products are indeed "soda."

at least it's not around the "beef" part

I guess if you've already had it, it can still count as "trying" and "especial" if you want it to. Thanks, Adam.

it's "yours"

Clearly, the makers of this sign do not believe the library really belongs to the students. Thanks, Steve.

as we like to call it

(click to enlarge) I guess the burgers are "tasty" in that they have a taste. Thanks, Patrick.

"always" on hard surfaces

I guess once in a while putting it on a grassy knoll is ok. As long as it's a rare event. Thanks, John.

"good" stuff

I like that the "good" is both added later and in quotation marks. So lousy stuff it is, I guess. Thanks, Molly.