"trash" goes here

Hey, I found a place for you to put that music you like! Thanks, Matt.

Help us "get there"

And by "Get There" we mean "get some money." Thanks, Bob.

well, we call it a farm anyway

I guess there's no red barns full of alligators. Thanks, Kimber.

"bag" your trash

I guess if you put your bag NEAR your trash, that's good enough. Thanks, Kerry.

Please "rinse out tub"

Submitter Andy points out from the appearance of the tub, that seems to be exactly what people have been doing.

"no" entry

I guess there are one or two entries. Thanks Chris.

"discount" painting

I guess the painting is full price, just not very good. Thanks, Taylor.

as "u" wish or something

The quotation marks around "u" suggests they know the real word is "you" and that makes it so much worse. Thanks, Jack.

As they call it

We got this amazing new invention, they're calling it "wireless internet." It's pretty crazy! Thanks, John.

something "special"

I guess this is where you report sexual harassment. Thanks, Shannon.

"yes" it is

Maybe the quotation marks here are acknowledging that you did not, in fact, ask. Thanks, Mike.

Meaning the impossible construction of "America"

So this one is deeply contradictory. It questions the existence of the idealized America, and then claims you must love it or leave it, decrying the very ambivalence the quotation marks suggest! Thanks, Camille.

used to be Indiana's?

I know things have been rough in Michigan, but I think it still constitutes its own state, with the same name and stuff. And South Haven is in it. Thanks, Bryan!

It's "actively monitored"

There is a person "attentively" watching this "all the time." Thanks, Paul.

"designer" jewelry

Chris's mom saw this on an NYC street corner. I wonder if they think the quotation marks will protect them from prosecution for counterfeiting.

In case of "fire"

When imaginary fires and fire drills happen, use the stairs. Thanks, Keleigh.

sounds "delicious"

Mmmm "tasty" tomato sauce. Sounds like something I want to eat. Thanks, Joseph.

keep door "closed" and "locked"

They are asking you to tell them that you've closed and locked the door, regardless of what you've done. Thanks, Doug.

beautiful "angel"

My brother spotted this (he's on a roll lately) I guess that weird figurine is not, actually, an angel.

more "plus"

Submitter Beverly captured my thoughts exactly when she wrote, "If they've already got MORE, I wonder what the "PLUS" could possibly be."

"umbrella bags" or whatever

I guess if you put your cane in there, it's a "cane bag". Thanks, Jason.

place "urine" specimen

I guess you can put whatever specimen you want in the cabinet. Thanks, Jenny.

"restroom"

More like out-houses, I guess. Thanks, Brad.

cannot be consumed "here" eh?

I guess the various places that can be included as "here" are pretty broad. Thanks, Cassiopeia.

"quality counts"

I guess "That Painter Guy" counts as a nickname. Whether or not "quality" actually "counts" remains to be seen. Thanks, Jay.

"time to book"

I don't even know what to make of all the decorative quotation marks on this. Click to enlarge for the full effect. Thanks, Brian.

"dont" use it

We totally "wouldn't" want you to "hurt" yourself or anything. Also, we use quotation marks, emoticons, exclamation marks and underlining, but NOT apostrophes. Thanks, Lynett.

"quality first"

Ok, maybe quality, like, fourth. Thanks, Austin.

"cherry" tomato

Note: not a real cherry. Actually a tomato. Thanks, Kate.

if that IS your real name

Ruben sent me this photo of his baby shoes, and mentioned that he will not be running for the presidency, what with the open questions about his actual name or date of birth.

wait, turn where?

My brother Bryan spotted this one. He assures me he turned correctly.

"we have" random quotation marks

Submitter JD quips that this cafe seems a bit unsure about their own menu.

so factory farmed rocks?

Those alleged chickens are melancholy at best. Thanks, Will.

or somebody

Wait, if the person who said this wasn't actually Jesus, that really changes a lot. Thanks, Alyse.

you know, the "sales" person

I'm not sure what "dresses here" is code for, but it sounds exciting. Thanks Sarah.

"now" ish

I guess they've had tacos for a while. Thanks, Christopher.

"only" "7 Euro"

It appears that they are actually selling ice cream, and calling it "pasta + vino." Thanks, Damion.

more "service"

So... truth in advertising? Thanks, Damion.

please "wait"

It's very "important" that you "wait" here. Chump. Thanks, Aaron.

it's "thrilling"

Submitter Emily quips, "It's probably best not to get too excited about the real estate market."

"faith" and "blessed" eh?

Let's put some christiany words on this sign! Here are some! Thanks, Cody.

open on "friday"

The day this place opens is obviously unlike any usual day of the week. Thanks, Sarah.

"celebrate" it

I guess the grocery store itself will not come to your graduation party. But you do need food stuff for a real party. Thanks, Dennis.

for "teens"

Yeah, I'm weird about using that word too. Or maybe they're just saying this because they are including 11-year-olds but not 19-year-olds. Thanks, Jack.

don't block "exit"

This must be one of those emergency exits you can't use for just regular leaving. Thanks, Leilani.

"public lands"

I guess these lands are semi-public? Thanks, Jill.

"Get Your's Today"

This one has it all! Quotation marks, unnecessary apostrophe, and malapropism. Unless a Lombard support is something I don't know about. Thanks, Amber.

a gift for "her"

The practical gift for your favorite drag queen? In 1934? Thanks, Trent.

snacks-of-the "south"

I also like the way the plural got added here later, like maybe for a while they sold them one peanut at the time. And, clearly this is about the disputed borders of the "South" this stand must be in Kentucky or West Virginia or Florida or something. Thanks, Liana.

I have so many questions!

What's breakfast history? The history of breakfast? Stories from history over breakfast? And has it just gone underground? Maybe my friend Nick knows. Thanks, Joey.