nice quotation

I guess it depends on when you open it, eh? Thanks, Dennis.

more like suggested

I guess nobody is going to enforce this one. Thanks, Tor.

ketchup drive?

Maybe they accept other bodily fluids here too. Thanks, Jon.

only if they are "citizens"?

Amy suggests this means it's ok to shoot.

is this one sarcasm?

I guess here the quotation marks indicate that the sign-writer knows the caution-tape and the shopping cart and the cardboard are probably enough. Thanks, Megan.

Mothers couple hours

The person who made this sign was clearly cynical about the extent to which the entire day gets given to mothers. Thanks, Jess.

really "modern"

These elevators are really "new" "technology" here. Thanks, Courtney.

you know, some number

The quotation marks are not the only thing that is less than clear about this sign. It kind of makes it sound like you get 6 free cups of coffee... Thanks, David.

springy?

Maybe it's only kind of a break. I am desperately trying to come up with an Arrested Development joke that makes sense. Woo! Thanks, Kathleen.

"free" here means "included"

Good to know you don't have to purchase actual food. Thanks, Joe.

more international quotation marks

Euler's wife spotted this in Brazil. E translates it as "PLEASE 'FLUSH' BEFORE LEAVING." It may be a euphemism, those who read Portuguese let me know.

those are nicknames

This grocery store nicknames its products. If you spent so much time with groceries, maybe you would too. Thanks, Amanda.

well, ok

This clinic appears to be for dogs and crazy people who claim to love cats. Thanks, Birdie.

all codewords

I guess this "restaurant" has a "message" for "someone" about a "holiday." Thanks, John.

semi-floaty?

Spoilers: one of the boat might be more sinky. Thanks, Jay.

imitation foods

I guess today's specials are joke versions of food. Thanks, Kasey.

"slow cooked"

I guess those ribs are microwaved. Thanks, Jason.

nice quotations

This sign is apparently here to commemorate a two-person recitation of the camping rules at the Grand Canyon. Thanks, Brian.

I think you should try paying a dollar

The submitter didn't sign his/her name, but noted that they spotted this in a dollar store. It seems the drinks are marked more than a dollar, but I'd try to get around that given this sign.

allegedly

I guess this is a chardonnay-like wine. Thanks, Karen.

as somebody said

ok 1) is this a dunkin donuts cherry picker? 2) I guess they aren't claiming the best coffee directly, though they sure say it enough. Thanks, J.

more or less

I guess this grade-level in quotation marks is a compliment or an insult depending on the age of the kids. Thanks, p.

wink wink

Chris spotted this in a hospital. I don't know what "sprinkler zone" is a euphemism for, but it must be pretty exciting if you need the ability to shut it off.

pretty typical actually

Jove sent me this. I guess the cake is not so fancy after all, it's just putting on airs.

for your "lawn"

Black explains, "This was stuck into our front door. The best part (besides the obvious) is the fact that we have no visible lawn."

so to speak

I wonder what they are calling a "storage loft" the space above the cupboards? Thanks, Mark.

well, you pay for it

I think the word they are looking for here is "included" but free in quotation marks is ok too. Thanks, Beth.

not literally

Note, we know children are too big to hold in them entirely in your hand. Thanks, Kimberly.

mediocre saturday?

You know, even if you don't observe christian holy week, I think we can agree on friday-ness. Thanks, Fenris.

more like everyday

I guess this yard sale lasts forever. Thanks, Kiel.

actual actors

Ok, they're actors. Thanks, GP.

sounds "delightful"

Nothing is as "delightful" as some fake empanadas. Thanks, Grace.

fake ginger

I wonder what's really in those crystals. Thanks, Keara.

(reduced posting this weekend; I am busy with my friend Becky's wedding).

said somebody not us

1) this is pretty foreboding anyway 2) it's more foreboding if smoken joe's directly isn't saying it. Should you be scared? I think yes. Thanks, Joel.

pun alert

I'm assuming this company is called something express. That does not excuse this, it just makes it a terrible pun instead of terrible punctuation. Thanks, Joel.

Also, if you plan to pre-order my book, consider using the affiliate link I put in my sidebar, then I get a commission on the sale. Thanks!

fake rules

Some people are very sarcastic about these rules. Thanks, Michelle.

well. ok.

John did not provide a context for where one might find both beer and simulated eggs, but it sounds like a place worth checking out, even though that sounds kind of gross. Thanks, John.

aproximately 4

I guess they don't discriminate against disabled dogs. Good to know. Thanks, Sara.

'if we can'

I love everything about this sign from the South Texas State Fair. I sincerely hope the quotation marks are an error, and they really do make everything they "can" on a stick. Thanks, Beth.

something rocky

Frances writes, "Those are evidently a bunch of plastic rocks. They work hard to create "realistic" "terrain", but those things ain't cheap!"

some times and places

Avery writes, "I like that they seem selfaware that their "Anytime Anywhere" was in fact a big lie because they qualify it in the sticker below it."

maybe another element?

I wonder what's really out of order? One thing's for sure, the vac's ok.

somebody else said...

We're just passing on the message, according to us you could keep on having your band practice right here. Thanks, Trent.

As they call it

Just put your food in the "frig" because that's what we're calling it. Thanks, Katie.

theoretically

Luke writes, "It's not super funny by itself, but when I went inside I found that their soda fountain was, in fact, broken, making the whole thing very zen."

we will be "open"

I guess only in a manner of speaking. Thanks, Kate.

"pizza"

I guess this doesn't say much for the quality of the pizza. Thanks, Debbie.

a "menu" eh?

Wow, they have fake menus for their fake food. Good to know. Thanks, Amy.

"special knock"?

yeah, I'll get right on that thing that knocking is code for... Thanks, Kerry.

link to Jacksonville craziness

In Jacksonville FL, it seems that unnecessary quotation marks are the house style. Kellie shared an entire blog post, of which the above is only one exceptionally awesome example.