random foods

I don't know what these are made out of, but it involves bones for sure. Thanks, Judith.

(regular posting will resume next week, my academic life is stressful right now).

"oilwell"

This oilwell has a very straightforward nickname. Thanks, John.

"no laptop" eh?

Maybe it's not as absolute as you are led to believe. And if you have 2, that may be ok also. Thanks, Gib.

"on"

I guess you can put this fan on for pretend. Thanks Elizabeth.

warm or lukewarm

Okay, okay, maybe they are in quotes because they want you to say those very words. Thanks, Elizabeth.

well, you have to work for it

Fake Las Vegas, that would be like hyper-hyper-reality or something. Thanks, Dan.

that's what she said?

Don't break it though, just pull it "hard." Thanks, Melissa.

Got that "daily"?

If your nickname is daily this message is for you. Thanks, Maria.

made up facts

I'd like to work at snapple and make up some "real facts." That sounds fun. Thanks, Judah.

or whatever night

I guess you can make any night "friday night" and have... wait for it.... fun with us!!! (that's three exclamation points kind of fun, guys). Thanks, Ben.

uh, ok

Yeah, this bench is "not" for sitting on. It's for... some other purpose... Thanks, Zach.

ok, most of the time

Susan spotted this one at a Sheetz. I guess the kitchen is occasionally closed.

a question of ontology I guess

Do restrooms really exist? or not? And who "are" they for? Thanks, Dan.

sounds "edible"

Any advertisement of "food" seems kind of scary, what are they actually serving? Thanks, Jeff.

sarcasm in one language

Maybe Spanish speakers are more snarky about privacy? Thanks, Nicholas.

really just average prices

Maybe the "special deals" are only for "special people." Thanks, Sergio.

any haven really

oh, it's not THE haven restaurant, that's in Europe. Thanks, Dani.

consever, eh?

They are pretending to consever vodka or something. Whatever that means. Thanks, Catran.

we pretend your house is dubai

I wonder what you win! Thanks, Nick.

I mean as haggis goes

I guess Donovan's haggis is well known to a few people. Thanks, Dana.

freeish

I guess that's regular price sodas on thursdays? Or maybe they charge you for crappy domestics, hence the "beer." Thanks, Dave.

oh do you?

I don't really know what this sign means, I assume it really means they reserve the right NOT to serve anyone. But that's not what they said, is it? Or MAYBE it's implied by the quotation marks. Thanks, Seth.

sure that's an asset still

Since this was published after the real estate crash, I can only assume they are actually talking about some other asset. Thanks, Michael.

time for a "survey"

Ok guys, are these marking that "family feud" is the title of this show, or are they ridiculous? Thanks, Ryan.

or is it?

It "is free" in the sense that you are trading your information for a burrito, I guess. Thanks, John.

more like "tidied"

If you think I'm going to go in there with a squirt bottle and stuff, and "save" your containers, well, you go on thinking that. Thanks, Sarah.

ok "honeybunch"

I don't know if "sugar" is the "dog" or you, but either way that's kind of awkward. Thanks, Tom.

that's "too bad"

You know what? That's ok, I didn't want your creepy hyperreal milkshake anyway. Thanks, Leslie.

yeah, do that

you know, "squeeeeeze" or strangle or something. Thanks, A. J.

hereabouts

I don't know what you're going to do with your prescriptions near this sign, but its something like picking them up. Thanks, Roxanne.

"pizza time"

Kalle took this screenshot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 for Gameboy. I guess it's time for pretend pizza. Thanks, Kalle.

"not allowed"

So it might be allowed SOMETIMES. Thanks, Kelly.

"soup"

I encounter a surprising number of fake soups writing this blog. Maybe in this case it's in quotation marks because if you put the word behind each of the types you'd end up with pumpkin soup soup. Thanks, James!

in a manner of speaking

People have sent me this beer before, but Emily persuaded me why it was awesome when she wrote, "See, it's not really dry because it's beer..."

"ants" or something

This sign was left by the previous tenants at Bruce's new office. I wonder if they were putting as many errors as possible with the hopes of making it on some blog that makes fun of signs, because this thing is ridiculous.

pretend broken

Actually, I just don't want anybody to use the ice maker except me so I pretend it's broken. Thanks, Steve.

or OINKS

James writes, "I can say without reservation that the cap does, in fact, click when you reach its terminal turniness." I hope some day it makes another sound effect. Like BEAM.

ask somebody

Not the person who wrote this sign, that's for sure. Thanks, Alyson.

"engrave" them, eh?

This place offers sketchy services with fake names, for your pets! Thanks, Geoff.

you don't have to mop or anything

This was at Christina's job, where I guess tidy is good enough.

"inside pockets"

This vest has decoy inside pockets, for reasons beyond comprehension. Thanks Jeanette.

oh do you?

Our lawyers told us to say this. So we did. Thanks, Darren.

you know, "checks"

Those fake checks you've been using? No longer accepted. Thanks, Tess.

yeah "balloons"

There is something balloon-like you should keep your children from playing with. Maybe. Sketch. Thanks, Tony.

"repository for dung"

These quotation marks may be legitimate, but I like the idea that you can tour a "repository for dung" euphemistic or not. Thanks, Trevor.

sure they're "donations"

Actually those flood victims are paying us back for this stuff. Thanks, anonymous.

oo fake degrees

I guess leadership isn't something like arts or sciences, so you only get a "masters." Thanks, Katilina.

"wholesale"

So I guess it's really retail, as suggested by the storefront. Thanks, Clampett.

freeish

Benjamin writes, "I came across this sign at my local supermarket. I took a few of them, or stole them, I'm not too sure."

"amazing"

Coke spotted this one. I guess Goofy isn't actually that amazing.