sad excuse for donuts?

Courtney suggests, "Maybe in today's health conscious mindset the 'Donuts' are actually apple slices or oat bran."

almost none

I guess people of ambiguous gender, children and gendered fetuses can do what they want. Thanks Mike!

might be seaweed

Chelsea spotted this at a pet store. I definitely am not buying something if there's not even a guarantee that it is a fish.

minorly scalding

James writes, "Found this in a day-care centre for toddlers - I guess they are a bit more sensitive to heat than us toughened oldies."

takes a lot of breaks

The management is around sometimes, but they like to train for a marathon during business hours, so good luck with finding them. Thanks, Brooks.

"awe"

I guess when you see that, you can be in awe, or just say "awe." Thanks, Sara!

one of these things is not like the others?

At this school, they do not in fact host all children in the entire world. It's just not that big, no offense chinese kids. Thanks, Rich.

in memorium

Thanks to Julia Lovett for this marker-board tribute to the late Michael "King of Pop" Jackson.



Too soon?

you know, "bikes"

I don't know what it is that the kids are calling bikes these days, I assume motorcycles and bicycles are not allowed, but I would think bikes unpunctuated would capture that. Thanks, Addie.

thank YOU

Actually, this sign makes it seem like this golfcourse really isn't closed, since you can call somebody and still play. Maybe it will cost you, hence the ominous "thank you and have fun". Maybe you'll play golf while being hunted like an animal for sport. Thanks, Heather.

actually it was his doppelganger

I think this one is just confused, you punctuate the quotation, not the speaker... thanks Jay.

ahem

I didn't know tomatoes reproduced that way. Color me enlightened. Thanks, Bill.

or steal

I think this sign is suggesting a double five-finger discount. Thanks, Jason.

"atm"

This is probably a live teller in a robot costume. At least, I hope so. Thanks, Evan.

are you really?

Emily didn't give a context for this one, but maybe this woman looks like her ancestors immigrated from Europe at some point, so maybe that's it...

was thinking of "fats" but this was cooler

I like the idea that the person who parks here has "Superintendent of Schools" as their mafia nickname. Oh, old superintendent of schools there? I think his real name is Evelyn. Thanks, Robb!

round down

Ron saw this in front of programs at a child's school play. I hope there are families running around with one program plus a mangled torn portion of one.

"heating" is relative

Kaylyn saw this in a gas station mini-mart. I guess on these microwaves, the heating is minimal.

this one kind of makes weird sense

it says: do not ask "paying" customers for money. So I guess if you don't ask them for money, they can't really pay. So that would make them "paying" customers, right? Thanks, Kevin.

nicey-nice

Though I'm not a person who has purchased a lot of expensive items (grad student stipends only go so far) it is my understanding that those who sell them are the over-friendly type. Thanks, Chris.

well, most of the time only then

Paul writes, "apparently they have secret pick up games on nights other than thursday."

push

I'm not sure what you are really supposed to do to shut the door, but it's definitely not pulling. Thanks, Rachel.

we're trying to grow pot over there

Jeff sent me this one. I wonder why the trails are really closed? Bears? Crime scene?

not EVERYONE

Julie sent me this. I guess crafts are only fun for the people who don't have to clean up.

"the housekeepers"

I like to think that "The Housekeepers" are a gang, like "The Jets" and this is their version of tagging. Later they'll have a rumble with their rivals, "The Caterers." Thanks, Denise.

the stuff I stole

When Julie's husband was laid off, they gave him this box to bring his stuff home in. I guess they are expecting a few office supplies to suddenly become "yours".

sure that's what you want

Michael notes that this was spotted at "the famous, customer unfriendly Lorenzo's Pizza on South Street in Philadelphia." I don't know what people really take when they ask for a "cup of ice" but Lorenzo is on to them.

weird slang for gambling?

I don't know what "shake a baby" could be code for that is more disturbing than baby shaking. Thanks, Manolo.

"the bar"

Ben spotted this one in Minneapolis. I am imagining a den of various vices you might want to engage in while telling your spouse/parent that you'll be down at "the church."

thank you "all"

I guess it's not really "His Granddaughter"? I'm very confused about what this sign actually means. thanks ("thanks?") Ken.

more questionable parents

I guess if you leave your children unattended on a dock, you're not exactly a shining example of parenthood, but I'm not sure it calls for sarcasm. It's a tough job! Thanks, Chloe.

"old fashioned"

Well, some would say these are "old fashioned" but I say they are classic. Thanks, Kate.

the westward kind

My friend Kricket sent me this one, though her sister Rene took the photo out the window of a moving car. I guess a Westward "ho" is better than an Eastward one?

sure you're the dad

You know, I don't care whose kids they are, keep an eye on 'em. Thanks, Danielle.

as they say in the "hood"

You know, "cash" is a slang term used for money as notes or coins. Thanks, Margo!

"italian"

This place has Sicilian belts or something. Thanks to nix williams, longtime "blog" friend.

give or take a season

I mean, seriously, who wants to be out there in the winter. I'll stay home with some hot chocolate, thanks. Thanks, Casey.

featuring "singers"

Kristy writes, "makes you wonder just what you'll be 'hosting,' doesn't it?"

the "best rate"

Kate saw this one in Thailand. I guess the rate here is among the better ones.

"please"

I think maybe my favorite part of this one is that they are approaching the dead line. Makes the expression seem so much more literal. Thanks, Karyn.

not yours specifically

Ok, they're in somebody's home. At least they aren't "pet sitting" there. Thanks, Doc.

If you call those cookies

I think if you have to put "cookie" in quotation marks, it's not worth the calories. Thanks, Sharyn.

"restored"

Paul and Abby spotted this one (the url is theirs). Looks like they destroy your old photos, so that's nice.

class of... mrphlfrm

Andrew sent me this one. Hey, if you were in the class of... well, nevermind... you might want to lie about it too.

be a "bartender"

Rebecca writes, "When I was a bartender years ago, friends and family often asked when I was going to get a real job. So, this sign stood out to me, as it so blatantly questions the veracity of the profession."

Size still matters?

I guess their pizzas are relatively large, but not, like, man-sized pizzas. Thanks, Sara.

you "must" do it

There seems to be some wiggle room in these enterprise policies. Thanks, mk.

history speakers

Ok, titles in quotation marks are grammatical though unnecessary on a flier like that, but the dangling quotes at the end of events are just priceless. Thanks, Katie.

4-ish

Noah spotted this one at Syracuse, where their floor numbers are approximations. Or jokes. Or something.

terrifying

Laura spotted this one at a Japanese restaurant in Cambridge, MA. I have no idea what "chocolates" means but I think it's sinister, gross, or both.