fake caution acceptable

This is from Doug's work. Pretending to be cautious is apparently fine.

some times ok

Apparently there are times it's ok to block the gates, but they are secret. Thanks, Walter.

more fake service

So, I don't know what they're actually doing to the coffee and pastries. Slinging perhaps? Thanks, John.

friendly-ish

Mike suggests that this sign is the analogue of this recent post. evidently the 857 people are approximately friendly.

if you call that service

Jana's boyfriend got this one. I guess the degree to which you could consider this business service is up in the air.

safe-ish

Alex saw this one at JFK airport. He writes, "I guess it's everyone's job to pretend to operate safely."

"fun"

Richard writes, "Could Sunday be any more fun? Yes, evidently."

it's serious stuff

Rose saw this in lower manhattan. My favorite part is that 'play' gets single quotes and "lotto" gets double. Evidently both get sarcasm but "lotto" is also a nickname for lottery. That makes perfect sense.

"recycle"

evidently the best these folks know how to recycle is... not so good. I also like the spelling correction. Thanks to Jen in Nova Scotia.

you know, "caution stairs"

The top portion of this one makes it seem like they're doing a search for the phrase "caution stairs". It's a band. Their slogan is "open door slowly!" Thanks Naomi.

slamming acceptable

Thanks to Paull for this one. I invite readers to list forms of door "closing" that might be included.

clean looking

Apparently at Burrito Boy, where this was taken by April, seemingly friendly is good enough.

fake polite and schrodinger's bathroom

This seems to be an existential statement about whether any bathroom anywhere is under construction. I suppose you cannot know without looking but you cannot simultaneously look at all bathrooms. Thanks, Trav.

"smokin"

Ashley saw this in Fort Worth TX. My favorite thing about this sign is that the thing that isn't quotation-ed is the un-funny pun.

not an actual log

This actually makes me wonder where the term "log on" comes from. Thanks, Simon who spotted this at Warwick University in England.

what "hog"?

This makes me wonder what (or who) the "hog" is and that thing or person's relation to a literal hog. Thanks, Kathryn.

or pretend to ask

This is really a typographical masterpiece, between the all caps (except for one phrase in the directions to managers) and the ridiculous clip art. The quotation marks leave ambiguous whether cashiers can also signal with their hands for a club card, and who will be held accountable, really. Thanks, Yumi.

natural-ish

I like to think that this is making a comment on the socially constructed nature of what is and is not considered natural, a la Foucault. Thanks, Kyle.

or talk about it

The submitter for this one is anonymous. Perhaps because they don't want us to know that they follow this advice and fake exercise. bwaha.

totally on purpose

Gretchen saw this in Massachusetts. I assume it was no accident.

more like parasols

I'm guessing these umbrellas leak. Thanks, Marcus.
note: I was hoping to schedule a bunch of posts for today but just spent like 25 minutes deleting spam, and have a new enemy. I'll try to do more later.

salsa or whatever

Lauren spotted this in a mexican restaurant in Concord, CA. I can't imagine what would make something so far from salsa to need quotation marks.

TP's nickname

Evidently at this place it's not called toilet paper? Or other kinds of paper can also actually go in the toilet bowl? Thanks Juliann.

wait, so who said, huh?

Malachi claims to have gotten stuck in a recursive loop by this sign. I can't say I did much better.
Slow posting this weekend, I'm at the public address conference learning things.

More Press

a little article on the "blog" in the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

get your drugs someplace else

I don't know what kinds of "product" they are out of, but it's serious. Thanks, Ryan.

bend all you want

Apparently some jerk thinks it's "really important" to not bend this envelope. Whatever. Thanks, Vanessa.

vintage european quotation marks

Reinko spotted this in Breda, Netherlands. It is to inform you that you should turn your engine off when the bridge is open. Or when the "bridge is open". Which is an anti-communist code or something.

worst pun ever

Bree spotted this one. I assume it's marking a by/buy pun, but it makes very little sense. Unless the wine is supposed to buy the case, in which case it makes a little sense. Except that wine is inanimate.

so-called glacier

Blue saw this at St Mary's Glacier in Colorado. Evidently it's borderline for the label "glacier".

what "fireworks" are they talking about?

Julie in Montana spotted this one. Evidently they are expecting some romance or fighting. Or both.

beginner

This is, apparently, the trucks the rookie drivers take out. Thanks, Jen.

"UR"??? really?

The only way this is even a little bit acceptable is if they are trying to do a pun on Abraham's hometown. Thanks, Chris.

probably accurate

I guess there's some crab-like food in these rangoons. Thanks, Anne.

just for emphasis

just for emphasis
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

It has been pointed out time and again that a common purpose for misused quotation marks is to create emphasis. This flier, posted in a nursing home office window, has emphasis out the wazoo.

My favorite:
"chips, salad & yer'Hot Dog...!"

Extra points given for using a far too unused contraction (yer') twice on the same page including a rare yer'Hot.

"Bring yer' appetite!" clearly means, "Bring yer' $3"

newish

newish
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

Spotted this just off a highway exit in Grand Rapids, MI.

This sign is apparently standing at the "old" entrance where lots of traffic still comes and goes. I'm guessing that the "new" entrance leads to another dimension.

ghost patio

Brian saw this one in Toronto. Evidently the patio is either in the front or nonexistent.

guys. guys.

This blog has a wikipedia entry.

I am so famous.

fake manager

This was in michele's atlanta hotel room. My favorite part is "sink". What's the official term for which "sink" is a nickname??

"mediocre"

evidently the fish and chips there are only ok. Thanks, Martin.

assumed name cat

I wonder if "exploring" is like "experimenting". Also, I wonder why this cat is doing it under an assumed name. Thanks, Jason.

circa

Perhaps the word "since" is a codeword that I am unaware of. Thanks, Melody in Panama City FL.

that food is only for decoration

Anybody who needs to claim that their food is real and then put it in quotation marks is definitely suspect. Thanks, Matt.

value-esque

Angus saw this one in Melbourne, Australia. Evidently it depends on your definition of value.

not so famous or super

This shop has 3 functions and 2 slogans. PLUS a clip-art fish that's pretty silly. I wonder if you can see the carwash or the worms from the dining patio? Thanks, kjaere.

so-called people

Jordan sent me this, which he found outside a gourmet confectionary in Shorewood WI. I'm not sure if they mean people who report the news or deliver the paper, but whoever it is is only ostensibly a person. That's not very nice.

you know, "upstairs"

Reid saw this one in Turkey. I don't know if "upstairs" is a real place, or mythical one, and who knows what you have to do to get internet.

not for little brothers

Grahame quips, "Home Depot apparently does not find Japanese Beetles all that irritating."

as the kids say

Submitter David assumes the prices here are negotiable. Or maybe only for those on the inside...

not just any driving school

Seriously, mom, tailgating like this is "safer". I learned it at "a" driving school.
Thanks, Sam.

pleasing to the "eye"

Arielle spotted this one. I guess this person is so overflowing with sarcasm they can't even put their quotation marks around appropriate words. At least it's only a "disgrace."

mmm "breakfast"

maybe it becomes "breakfast" pizza when you eat it at times of day other than the morning? Thanks, Loki.