this is where you put the drugs

I like the pleading tone of this one, and I have no idea what they were even thinking about the quotation marks. Maybe "sandy bathing suits in this tub" is a secret code. The orchid flies at midnight. Thanks, Alison.

possibly a drag event

this one is from Christine. I guess everyone is working under stage names this evening. And the Auctioneer" only has close-quotes.

share with your brother

I guess since there are limited permutations of salad ingredients, you won't be the ONLY one to have yours. Or you have to share. Thanks, Kaitlen.

"doing a number" - new dance move

Is there some "doing a number" pun that I'm missing on this one? Also, if you click to enlarge and read the red type, you'll find that some non-animal organism is making the mess. Possibly amoeba. Thanks, Kate.

basically toxic

maybe "non-toxic" is the nickname of the guy who delivers the solvents. Thanks, Jeremy.

I have "chest pain"... wink wink

Lisa saw this sign at the hospital. I can see all kinds of sinister things you really need if you tell someone you're in "labor".

congrats, people who graduated once

This was spotted in Poulsbo, WA. I would congratulate the victory-lappers too. Thanks, Andrew and Lily.

"brown rice"

I don't know what they did to make the rice brown, but I wouldn't eat it. Thanks, Sheryl.

water heater broken

Or maybe they mean the hot water is not so much hot as boiling. Simon took this one in Sechelt,
British Columbia. Thanks!
(sorry it took so long to post, the uploader was having trouble earlier today)

Back soon!

Bethany is traveling back home from Chicago today and should post again this evening but she asked me to welcome those visiting from a link on ivillage. Have "fun" - I hope you enjoy the site.

stuff

I'm vacationing in Chicago today and probably won't post much, but do check out this article on the topic that was posted today, which includes an interview with me.

maybe you can put in glass

Ben saw this at a law firm in Boston. I like to read it to mean that they think "no glass" is a hip new way of saying "we're cool."

"italian"

As Eva points out, this sign from Buffalo has a number of things that merit gentle mockery. I suppose the "italian" (food? people?) is likely accurate.

no, EVERYTHING

this one looks familiar, but I can't find the old post, so I'll put it up now. Plus Kristy's commentary is pretty great, "i take this sign to mean that they have a really limited repertoire of repair skills -- like, they only repair linoleum flooring. or maybe they only have one tool--say, a
hammer but no nails. OR MAYBE "handyman" is actually a code word for "prostitute" and the "we do everything" is a little wink wink about the limits of their sexual services."

me on the radio

I just did a brief interview along with Jeff Deck of TEAL for BBC radio 4. Jeff is more interesting than me, so there's more of him in the interview, but I talked. UK listeners can hear the dulcet tones of my nasally accent on Word of Mouth, which comes on at 4 pm on Tuesday, August 5.

only sort of special

I don't even know where to start with this. Evidently their soup and drinks are lukewarm, and who knows how much anything costs. Thanks, Mark.

people we don't like

Wendy saw this in Newport, OR. They prosecute some people who do something, apparently.

it's not rock-solid though, it's more slushy

Kay saw this in Bognor Regis, UK. The place was closed, so she never found out exactly how cold the slush really is.

"girl scouts"

Jon found this one on his door. It makes more sense if you know that bottles and cans in michigan have a $.10 deposit. He also writes, "Based on this note, I’m guessing a group of trekkies are heading to a comic book convention and need my bottles and cans to fund the trip. I didn’t wait to see if they showed up in uniform."

not ALL truck drivers

some truck drivers are special. Thanks, Jason.

Hansel is so hot right now

Lauredhel spotted this one in Denmark. I imagine that the Apple Pie here is quite sexy.

"church"

Maybe this "church" is like this place. I wonder what all goes on there, and if "Jesus" is involved. Thanks, Brittany.

not forming, that's for sure

This from Jeff, who wonders what the classes are actually doing.

back to classics

I haven't posted anything that was "fresh" in a while, so I figured I'd show you all these rotten beets from a farmers market in VA. Thanks, Eileen.

Amber may or may not be missed. By everyone. Thanks, Abby.

no "id" no "beer"

I wonder what sorts of things qualify as ID. Maybe ID for a few presidents...? Thanks, Jason.

This water isn't going anywhere

My friend Ron saw this at a golf course recently. He writes, "Not sure which I think is funnier: the misspelling of potable as "portable" or the anonymous famous person's admonition to be a teetotaller."

Jon Stewart stealing my material

If you're one of the rapidly decreasing number of people who has not yet watched this or informed me of it, check out the quotation marks jokes around 4:20.

"knowledge rich"

BGG found this one in our new defense department strategy. Sad/scary commentary on the state of US defense?

"country cuisine"

Last weekend I went with some friends on a daytrip to Helen, GA, which is a hilariously fun tourist trap. Geoffrey spotted this sign and I snapped the picture. I don't know if the food there is generously referred to as cuisine or what, because Helen is totally in the country.

not that safe

Definitely scenic, but some idiots can get hurt doing anything. Thanks, Simone!

bwahahahaha

I guess it's not really winning if you spend tons of tokens and all you get in the end is some cheap pencils. Thanks, Jesse.

well, almost all

I mean, it's just one book. Spotted by Vincent at Home Depot.

special

Matthew saw this in Ireland, and writes, "I can only think that it means it's a) not chicken at all, or b) breaded in marijuana."

"take-out"

Of course, the highlight of this one is the opening double and closing single quotation marks. Also, micromanage napkins much? Thanks, Michael!

have a mediocre day

I'm guessing the excellence they wish for you is contingent on you not being an asshole. Thanks, Evan!

"lucky" you

Hannah saw this at the antique fair. I wonder if it's a commentary on the luckiness of married people (or the lack thereof) or something else...

it's "every one's" responsibility

David says this was posted near the coffee maker. This one is so fabulous that I am wondering at its veracity. There are clearly some people who do not take ownership of the break room, and they are not necessarily responsible. I wonder what really happened to the carafe(')s also.

it's the "real" one

It may be Billy's authentic grave, but if Baudrillard has taught us anything it's to doubt the reality of things that are labeled real... Thanks, Alisa.

that dog is keeping an eye on you

Mike saw this one in Manhattan. I like the way it's pasted up there with excessive amounts of packing tape. I'm guessing this "observation" is in no way professional or scientific.

"sale"

Who knows what kind of prices they really have. Thanks, Laurie.

"thanks" a lot

It's been a while since I posted some fake politeness here. This one has two insincere terms, AND was posted in a shower. That's right, folks. The hotel shower had a sarcastic sign in it. Nowhere is safe. Thanks ("thanks"), John.

"An Independent Lab"

There is all kind of hilarity in this picture. 1) labs rank real estate agents? What do they do, take a tissue sample? 2) if it's not independent or a lab, then who DID rate them?
Thanks, Brandi.

permanent

Frank saw this one in Dublin. I don't know how long this sign will be around, but it won't be temporary, that much is obvious.

Forget me

Forget me
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

also in the vet's office... tugging at your guilt

now you can have a piece of art to help you "forget" ...er "remember"

"gift of life"

"gift of life"
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

Found in a vet's office.

The dog in the picture was recently euthanized due to your inaction...

don't go!

Connie writes, "I saw this in a nice neighborhood family diner. They're so friendly, they'll pack up the food as if you ordered take-out, but you can secretly eat it on the premises."

something for some kind of vehicle

Shawn saw this at Big Bone Lick State Park (really) in KY and writes, "I half-expected to see a monkey on a tricycle roll up and offer people rides, but I was ultimately disappointed to see a standard panel van full of tourists ready to see Big Bone. I was also happy to see that the sign was properly amurrica'd with duct tape and a tiny flag."

assumed name for attorney

It's not really Doug standing in the window there. What do you think this is, the red light district? Steph suggests that this is perhaps an actor portraying Doug (does this make the cheezy pose more or less acceptable?) I find everything about this hilarious.

"grouches"

Those people are the designated grouches for the day, simply labeled thus for the cuteness of the sign. Or they are the sane people, who know it's not that exciting to live in a town whose biggest attraction is the fish and game club park and pool. Thanks, Amy.

worms

D saw this one in San Fransisco. I assume they want to clarify that these worms are not live in concert.

ice cream "scoops"

Andrew saw this one in France. Perhaps the translator believes that "scoops" is a stupid word, or the colloquial term for the thing. I will agree, scoop is a weird word.

not so special

Dan saw this in Dunkin Donuts. I wonder how much that coffee actually weighs.

or thereabouts

Kathy's boyfriend spotted this one. I guess they can't really remember how long they've been a place.