"two" hot "careers"

ok, what I love about this is that "hot" is the only word here that would make borderline sense if it was quoted. Evidently auto technician is not, in fact, a career. And there's fuzzy math going on with the counting. thanks, Tim.

about time we get rid of the binaries

Megan saw this in the building that houses Cornell's ROTC. She comments "Don't ask don't tell just got a little more complicated".
As a side note, ladies' rooms at historically male institutions are often hilarious - I have a deep love for one at Calvin Theological Seminary. Maybe it's the "womens" room when the line for the mens' gets too long.

you know, it's a "law"

Several people pointed me to this blogging.la post. Silly string may or may not be legal on Halloween. Given that the law has the word silly IN IT, I wouldn't take it too seriously anyway. PLUS can the silly string merchants who don't get rid of their wares on the 30th get arrested for possession? (Yes, I'm a month behind on reading and posting submissions.)

"crispy"

The submitter said this was great pizza. I like to believe that it was great in that soft, doughy way.

will be towed

We've seen fake towing on this blog before, although I'm a bit confused about what the exclamation mark means on this one.
Thanks, Mike.

nothing like trustworthy fireworks

Shawn saw this one in North Carolina. I don't know of any fireworks I can trust, so this one is probably accurate-ish. I mean, they do blow up. By design.

so, what, then?

Kaylyn writes, " This was in my office in the kitchen sitting atop many boxes of tissues." I don't even know what to say. Maybe this is a test, to see who is the person stealing the tissues?

another kind of fake polite

Jason saw this at a McDonalds. Evidently, they aren't really sorry. Also, what's up with the brackets?

or for something else

Jeni in Seattle found this. "For Your Coffee" is kind of a lame slogan. And what do you put cream in besides coffee? Especially in Seattle??

What do I win?

What do I win?
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

I spotted this one on a road trip through mid-Michigan. I realize that the quotes probably signify a slogan for this church, but it's a really bad slogan and deserves mocking. Unless of course this slogan is for the church softball team - then clearly we're all "daring" and "winning".

"Sweet Shave"

Not so sweet
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

Found on the wall at my favorite local BBQ place, this sign lets us know that quotes used to create either emphasis or sarcasm have been with us for a long time.
Now you're on the trolley.

reminder

Jon spotted this one in Decatur IL. I like the opening ' and closing ". And that 'Put a lid on it!" is like an office-wide slogan or something, like "Take a bite out of crime".

pseudonymous housekeeper

Elizabeth saw this at a hotel. I feel a little bit bad making fun of housekeepers since parts of the blogosphere that I read have been buzzing about activism because they are often treated unjustly (salon article). But still. Housekeeping with a pseudonym?

sure it does

This from Brooke. In spite of the sunspot, I think you can see it says that the van "runs" great. Maybe it comes with all those cool-looking bumper stickers too, so you can sit in the driveway in style.

slightly wet

Everything about this sign is funny. I'd like to see some waterlogged displays at the kitchen and bath store. Thanks, Marco.

want some "food"?

Alison informs us that she did not try the sausage wraps. I want to know, if you're selling "food" why not get some twinkies in there?

"maybe"

Mike saw this in a trailer park west of Sydney. Maybe the quotation marks mean it's a verbal answer to your hypothetical question. "Is it on again?"

can't

Jim is really good at finding these, people. If the whole line there was in quotes, it would be the slogan thing, as it is, I wonder what they "Can-do"?

keeping you "safe"

Adam saw this at a hotel in Reading, UK. They are very interested in keeping your personal items "safe". That's not at all sketchy. My favorite part about this sign is the weird clip art. Especially the calculator.

no "glass" at all

Not even glass-like plastic. Actual glass may be ok. Thanks Adam in Sydney.

I don't know if I like "Mojitos"....

Audacity, who happens to blog about my own institution quite a bit, spotted this one in Evans, GA. She suggests the "Mojitos" are actually Margaritas. Or maybe they're made out of those new mojito-flavored rums, not with real mint and lime. Regardless, that's a decent price for a cocktail. You can all wish you lived in GA now.

or aquamarine

Anna saw this one on a library photocopier. Perhaps we should switch it with this one?

There's no guarantee

Marko saw this one in Southern Georgia. I don't generally count on guarantees anyway, but especially not this one.

or no punishment at all

This is from Dean in South Africa. It makes me think there's going to be a passive-aggressive ranger watching you litter saying "FINE. Litter all you want, it's not like we'll need to use this EARTH again!"

what kind of "friends"?

Another one from Lindsay, I love most things about this sign, but especially the goat or whatever there, and that you can get a tan or use the internet.

the delugers sounded weird

My friend Jon saw this one in a parking garage outside a mall in the twin cities. I'm guessing the "sprinklers" don't really sprinkle?

this guy again

Also appropriate for this site. This guy who approximates Jesus seems pretty popular. Who knew? Thanks to the submitter who calls himself Lou E. Loon.

repeat offender

Lindsay's boss is hardcore about misused quotation marks. These are all three from her work. My favorite is probably that the employees "rock" - that is to say, they don't actually play guitars, bass, drums etc.
However, I think we can all agree that poor cell phone etiquette is not very lady/gentleman-like.

real or fake?

Another one from Rick. I want to know how something can be both real, and "maple syrup". Which is it?

Zagat guide to non-celebrities

Rick sent me this from the back cover of a small press publication by Mr Miller (cartoonist). He says any written text by this guy is full of quotes. It's kind of like he took a Zagat survey of all his friends to write his own bio. That would be an oddly appropriate strategy for the "book" of "unnecessary" quotation marks, which has become a glimmer in my eye.

good ol' quotation marks

I wish I could have given all of you some of the thanksgiving dinner I hosted today, but instead, here is a picture of a place where you can get a "hamburger" - maybe it's made out of turkey and mashed potatoes. Thanks, DeWitt.

Do you feel lucky?

Do you feel lucky?
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

The EZ Mart has offered their "Lucky You" gift card as a stocking stuffer. Just how "Lucky" would "You" feel to receive a gift card to a convenience store in your stocking?

a seasonal link

Since we in the US are celebrating Thanksgiving today by eating a lot, I thought it was an apt time to share this website, which is a smart way to help feed others. Their ad revenue is donated to UN food programs to feed the hungry. PLUS it's a fun vocabulary game. If you're competitive like me you can try to get to higher levels than your loved ones. My record so far is 42.

on topic

Look at me, with the themed posts. This one is from Ange in Lake Forest, CA. I like the double thank you, and that only the second one is in quotes. Like it's quoting the first time.

for thanksgiving...

Submitter Will was right when he said the most absurd thing is that CitiBank managed to copyright "thank you". But the big, stylized quotation marks scream sarcasm to me. They are not thankful at ALL.

wink wink

The owners of the coffee shop Manilo took these in seem to know how irresistible that one is. He said it was a few years back, maybe when everyone was watching Amelie (I couldn't find the relevant clip... if someone else does, please comment).

more "excellence"

I'm skipping ahead so I don't forget about this one. Jim and I spotted this with our own eyes on our recent pilgrimage to Wrigley Field (we also saw people laying the sod, which was cool). I suppose when it comes to lifting, there aren't that many gradations of achievement.

yeah. "Improve" it.

submitter Oz spotted this one at work. I like to believe that the sign-maker and desk-owner are in cahoots about mocking the work area neatness police.

"Classy"

It turns out there are a lot of companies that are only willing to claim they are the "best". Thanks, Ryan.

"specializing in wedding" receptions

Wedding photographer Rachel found this one on a gig. There are plenty of things to love about this sign, but I think the clear winner is "we can make your wedding". Great slogan.

Is it tuna or chicken?

Is it tuna or chicken?
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

While the image from the menu is a little fuzzy, please squint a bit to read the legend, Grilled "Yellowfin" Tuna Sandwich.

When Jessica Simpson asked her immortal question about Chicken of the Sea, who knew that it would cause this kind of ripple-effect? Who knew that restaurateurs everywhere would begin to question the very origins of their ingredients?

Is it really "Yellowfin" Tuna or is it "Redcowl" Chicken?

they don't actually want you to call

Submitter Sean suggests that this one might make sense if you "envision this as some
radio ad where one person reads the part in quotes and then the phone number comes booming in with substantial echo on it."
I agree.

you can forward paint?

Cliff saw this one on a Disney Magic cruiseliner. I'm guessing "FWD Paint Store" is the code name for Co2 plant.

"special"

Ali spotted this one in Toronto. I don't know if there are authentic eyebrow specialists, but I agree with Ali that it's best to stay away from a "specialist".

as some guy said....

Jim took this picture when we were at the Korean War memorial. This is, by the way, our favorite of all the memorials in DC - it communicates how miserable the war was while still respecting those involved (as opposed to the overly-jubilant WWII and the overwhelming Vietnam). However, evidently sign-maker is not sure if it is truly an act of respect to stay off the stones. Or is pointing to a famous quotation that I don't know.

what?

Dorie says the cashier was not amused that he had to wait for this photo to be taken. I'm glad Dorie risked cashier wrath, because this is just too absurd. Awesome.

But wait - there's "more"

'Extra'
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

A couple of weeks ago, my dear pal Jessica called me from her car to say, "I found one!" She was pretty excited about the quotes, especially since it was found on a sign that she passes regularly and I drive by all the time. Today I stopped for a picture.

So if you're in Grand Rapids near the corner of Kalamazoo and 60th, stop in for a Quick Lube - and who knows what "else".

actually they hope you do forget

this is from the same place as this picture. My trip to DC last month was just FULL of quotation marks. I got some more from this weekend in Chicago. "don't forget to press button for your receipt" is a crappy slogan.

or frozen and for anytime

Chris saw both of these in a local newspaper, and suggests that what we still need is one for a fresh thanksgiving "turkey". I agree.