real dull bride and groom

If this wedding isn't really a party, I don't think that bodes well for the marriage... Thanks Stephen.

what are all you "ladies" doing?

Ok, there appears to be an epidemic of un-ladylike behavior in bathrooms. Maura gives some backstory:

this note appeared in the staff bathroom one afternoon. rumor has it, people were not flushing enough and someone got really upset. in fact she dictated the sign to my friend verbatim (with the quotes) before posting it!

I'm not going to discuss what "remnants" could be. I guess it's marking a euphemism, which is acceptable.

more sketchy negatives

Good thing I found Bill's seasonal submission in time. I guess it's included if you pay...

I'll just have a salad.

Bryan sent me this about a month ago, and it got buried. But I dug it up this morning. I think it's a drug front. "Appetizers" means meth, "order" means ask in the secret special way. With money.

really just unemployed

This from Daniel. Poor Robert does not appear to get much respect. At least he gets publicity from this place that finds his art questionable.

Remember to vote.

don't really clean anything

Glen sends this from his friend John. Again with the slogan thing, but there's also an apostrophe error here. Probably not a recommend of any real plumber.

real "special"

Neil saw this in Camden, London, and suggests that the lack of quotes around soft drink indicates that there's something funny about the wine and the beer.

I "only" want to look around

Somebody sent me this from their sprint phone. I would totally go back there.

geriatric chickens

Mark gave me this idea and the title of this post. I guess they found some paninis hanging out in the freezer from a while ago, and got them out again.

Remember to VOTE.

can I take my little brother?

Tim suggests "Perhaps this is a comment on who really wears the trousers in the whole animal/human dynamic"

innuendo chip anyone?

Jim sent me this picture a few weeks ago. Maybe they're dirty because they have some of the peel still on them. Or because they're for flirting.

kind of like mine, only more mormon

Ok, I can't be too mean to the Romney campaign for using this image (although I can't even find it on their site now, so maybe they got rid of it) because 1) I have a "blog" and 2) it is a neologism. This is the guy who said "shooting varmints, if you will."
However, Ben's caption when he sent this to me was pretty good: "for the weirdos on the net."

UPDATE: Ben showed me where it is on their website: look at the bottom of this page.

sounds "fun"

Kate writes, "I found this in a birthday card in Monmouth. Obviously the makers of the card don't want the poor girl to have a nice birthday!"
Alternative explanation: it's that kind of 21st birthday, this girl will probably be sick to her stomach or making judgment errors by midnight.

really more around a buck

Seth submitted this, but concedes that after tax it costs a dollar and seven cents.
(Back in Athens now, will continue to be the usual amount of sporadic)

never born at all

Well, I'm heading back to Georgia early tomorrow morning, but I wanted to share one more of the many quotation marks spotted on my visit here. Jim and I actually ate at this place (what? it was raining and I really wanted Ethiopian food). Those quotation marks are probably an error, because that food was fantastic. Maybe the chef actually happened upon cooking later in life or something. Maybe they don't want us to think the store itself was born.

Another reminder: Vote for me, once a day. I now really want the laser.

"dangerous" or AWESOME

Oren spotted this at an elementary school. Maybe they want you to imagine a mean teacher or vice principal standing there telling you those fun-ruining things.

do something with queso dip somewhere

Pat from Literally, a weblog gives us this one. I like the way the handwriting attempts to mimic the font there. Also, note the extra single close quote up there at the top. Embellishment? I don't know. Neither do I know where you are supposed to do an action that may or may not be ordering.

some semblance of normal

From what New Yorkers tell me, and from my recent experience on the DC Metro, I suppose that "normal service" means "expect the unexpected." Thanks for the submission, Noah.

"I" don't know what to say

Richard's commentary about this picture, (available here) really captures it. Evidently the makers of this ad are equivocating on the use of all pronouns.

what do you call somebody who hangs out with musicians?

Thanks for this, Drew. Evidently, Mr McGee is loose in his definition of what qualifies one as a "Percussionist". Maybe I will audition with my mad spoons-playing skills...
(Just kidding about the percussionist joke in the title there, I actually have a lot of respect for percussion players).

don't forget to Vote.

speaking of restrooms

Brittney's husband "borrowed" this from his old job. From what I'm told about men's rooms, I bet relatively clean is enough.

or whoever else comes in here

Laura noticed this one in a bar bathroom in Milwaukee. She mentions that the tip jar was quite full, but assumes the sign-maker doesn't think much of the female population in Milwaukee.

really getting competitive

ok, guys. Kristy of she just walks around with it also only kind of wants a lazer pen, but I kind of want it MORE. I know it. And she posted about how neck-and-neck we are. Did you know that you can vote every 24 hours? I want the most expensive and dangerous cat toy I've ever had.

they sell stuff for closets in corners. only.

Here's Drew pointing out what he found in Buellton, CA. I'll just tell you what he wrote to me about it:

Something about the way a replacement sign had been tacked onto the previous sign struck us a strange, and the needless quotation marks around the store name made us think it was either some kind of secret brothel or cult meeting place. In the end, we didn't go in. We did not regret the choice. Our experience with the "Corner Closet" was entirely indicative of everything else we encountered in Buellton.

more foreign language

Hakan saw this in Stockholm. He roughly translates it this way:
We do "NOT" sell beer/cider to anyone that is
- under 18 years of age
- drunk
- presumed to be dealing to minors

We've seen similar things in English, and I bet the quotation marks function the same way. Maybe we do, maybe we don't.

I'll write in white out

or you could use "erased" "pencil" - whatever. Thanks, Adrian.

If you call that living

Beth spotted this one from the road in PA. Maybe they are commenting on the lifeless eyes of women forced by economics to display their bodies for money. Or maybe somebody really just pops in a video.

more "free" stuff

I'll just go with what Matthieu wrote to me for this one: "When I saw this sign, I wasn't fooled: I knew I'd have to pay for my drink, so I kept walking."

think of a silly award

Thanks for this one, Lauren. I'm not sure what to make of "Award-Winning" maybe they won some kind of low-level award and didn't feel ok announcing it without quotation marks.

you wouldn't want to get "hurt"

Susan saw this on vacation in Florida. Presumably, if the animals are eating they are biting something. Maybe the wordplay is meant to scare you.

mediocre

Joseph spotted these ok deals in New York.

or it was really a cat

I figured I'd post again while in a place with internet. Rachael sent me this, and I think the quotation marks here are rather sad. Perhaps the dog was lost on purpose. Poor lonely dog.

not us mural cartoon characters

Ok, I know, it totally makes sense that this cartoon guy is saying "we do not over repair" but why are you going to trust him? He's flirting with that lady with the anthropomorphic car and weird boobs! I agree with Ashley that the illustration is definitely the best part of this one.

I cannot escape

Well, I finally arrived in Maryland after some weather delays, and Jim and I joined forces, and went out for some late dinner. The menu had THREE instances of quotation marks. Go figure. Needless to say, we did not order anything that was "great" "popular" or a "favorite".

se habla comillas

Ok, I took 5 years of Spanish, but I forget what "Camaron" is. Acccording to babel fish, it means shrimp. They sell "shrimp" in the house of law? That doesn't make sense. Maybe somebody with more fluency can help me out here. Or Emily, who took this picture in Yelapa, Jalisco Mexico.

A few items

I'm competitive, and would like you to all vote for me here.

Again, I will be out of town starting today, and will be posting when I can.

Another repeat: consider helping underprivileged middle school students take a field trip. This is my attempt to use my power for good.

Thank you all for reading. My new popularity is just astounding. I don't get it at all.

(back to your regularly scheduled snarking)

I'll go ahead and "order" that

Annie wasn't sure if she should order the soup-like substance or the not-very-special. I wonder what she ended up doing.

lots of "glory" is

I'll just take Patty's comment for this one: "He's right, though. 'I always' do."

"thanks" - society

This church has a goal to make an "impact" on society. Good job not setting the bar too high, FMBC. Thanks, Lauren.

you know, the "big winner"

Bruce writes about this one: "I guess the 'pumpkin' is really a styrofoam prop, or maybe a yak in
gourd's clothing." I'm wondering if this is really a contest you want to "win". Probably you have to dispose of the "Giant Pumpkin". Good prize.

well, I "care" about your bottom line

Jon spotted this in Australia. Evidently, they don't care about your car at all, and it will probably be vandalized. BTW, this is not the first time a company has "cared" about a car.

quiet-ish

This one from frequent contributor (and boyfriend of "blog" editor), Jim. I'm guessing you don't have to be quiet as long as you are loudly referencing a pretentious theorist in your relevant discipline. At least, that's how I think Deleuze would see it.


a housekeeping note: posts will be even more sporadic than usual this week, as I will be traveling. I'll do my best.

or in children

Noah sent me this. Perhaps the quotation marks indicate you can pay in any currency you want.

now... no, now.... now...

Oh, sorry. By "now" we meant when we feel like it, and it's not now. Try applying tomorrow. Thanks R M.

"congrats"

I couldn't tell if Clarissa really still had to take some classes after this "graduation" cake or if she was being sarcastic. Regardless, good job graduating in "2002."

not working at all

I must say, "Your Measure K Bond Funds at Work" is a pretty lousy slogan. And I hate to believe that the funds are not actually working for the school at all. Thanks Jonathan.

other updates: I changed the header to be typographically correct, and the tagline to reflect what we really do: misinterpret.

over there on the sloppy pile

Pat saw this at a Salvation Army. Odd handwriting and apostrophes aside, maybe the shelf-maker is being modest about his or her skills?

In other news, I added a question about ending punctuation to the FAQ.

"all summer"

DeWitt found this "Year Round" farmer's market in San Marcos, TX. Maybe they take a few weeks off, I mean, the farmers might need a break.

where to begin

Josué saw this in a coffee shop in Seattle. Where do I even begin? And what is the deal with all the parentheses? And the alien exclamation point smiley faces with three eyes? anyway, if you are "a" "collector" of cars that don't "run" maybe you should leave this person a "message".

some kind of insect around these parts

Phil saw this on the road between Adelaide and Melbourne in Australia. He writes that he didn't see any bees. Maybe he did see a "bee" or two. Maybe by "area" they meant "continent".