Hoosier Elevator

Hoosier Elevator
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

Who's your elevator baby?
I spotted this in an Indiana elevator.
There are so many "buttons" to press and hold I don't know where to begin. The funny thing is that while the instructions seem so clear, none of the buttons were actually labeled as they are described. The buttons have symbols on them, but no words.
Good luck if you get stuck and need to follow along.

Diverse services

Diverse services
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

The quoted statement is clearly a slogan of some kind. But what does "Don't take your organs to heaven, heaven knows we need them here." have to do with insulation and energy services?

really, "don't"

The submitter found this in his/her department at work. Judging by the water damage on the sign, people take the quotation marks as a wink fairly often.

inconvenient

Submitter Matthew writes "I've seen the 'parking' around this salon and it truly is 'convenient.' I wonder if Kathy was being ironic about the state of parking around her salon."

"cute" indeed

Rob saw this "whilst filling the car up with petrol." He suggests that the bear looks more grumpy than cute or cuddly, and I must agree. Maybe they mean to imply "go ahead, wake him!"

what the kids are calling 'em

Mary spotted this one at a salvage/discount store. She might try some of these newfangled "jeans" but I don't know...

or any day

Yeah, yeah, the slogan thing. But isn't it better to imagine that they don't, in fact, light anything? Or that, action movie one-liner style, they light things on FIRE?? Thanks to contributing editor, Jim.

Merry "Christmas"

I'm taking it easy on the posting, as these are days full of family events for me. I'll keep posting when it's convenient, but I make no promises.
In the mean time, I hope those of you who celebrate Christmas are having a lovely holiday, and those who don't are having a lovely day. I am enjoying time with my family and look forward to seeing my sweetheart soon.
Thanks for reading the "blog" - it's been a pretty exciting part of my life in 2007!
Love, Bethany

Imported

Imported
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

A Christmas 2-fer.
O'Neal's - while correctly used apostrophes are in place, it does make me think that they are in fact senseless single quotes. However, let us continue to the Christmas ham of this sign. The "Local Flavor" is clearly called out for emphasis. With the shortage of nearby shrimp since Katrina much of the Shrimp in Gulfport, MS must be imported.

Regardless of the origin of said shrimp, O'Neal's is still the home of the "best" shrimp po-boys. That may be overstating it a bit, but they're not the worst anyway.

not the worst
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

Thanks to Michele who pointed this out along the road and didn't seem to mind turning around to get the pictures.

real real soon

Yuki's
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

It's not bad enough that the Japanese Steak and Sushi House is named Yuki's (pronounced yoo-key's or is it yuck-ee's?). The wait for your table may be just a while.

Please have a seat and we'll call you when we build the restaurant.

not actually a bleeding woman

maybe this brunch special is virgin drinks. And isn't it spelled mimosa? And wouldn't that just be orange juice?

un-welcome

Deanna saw this in the Gatlinburg TN area. Evidently just having a welcome sign is not enough, it must also say "welcome" to you. Or maybe the sign was there to sarcastically welcome the welcome center.

some other kind of bank, like food

Kerry saw this in Vancouver, BC. I really like that there's an ATM mere feet away, and this mysterious thing that someone might call a "bank machine" that you can take a risk with.

it's all pink

Laura saw this one in Ealing, London. I suppose, techincally, white wine is kind of beige and red wine is kind of purple, so maybe the sign maker was a color purist...

good slogan

If this church isn't really in a barn, that's the dumbest name ever, quotation marks or not. Thanks, Bryan.

as in made from organisms

The term "organic" is actually quite ambiguous, but I like that this label makes no bones about it. Thanks Teri.

what else is his "job"?

Eric says "thank God ESP isn't really my job." Kind of reminds me of someone else who is confused about his job description.

"they're delicious"

Nick saw this one at a pumpkin festival in Columbus. Clearly nothing delicious about that.

no options

Lisa got this in the mail. I guess you just have to pay five bucks and they'll give you whatever toppings they feel like putting on there. Like a fun surprise!

or stay put, see if we care

Actually it's a new dance move - the "evacuate"! Thanks to submitter Nix who found this at a university.

they don't leave you alone

I imagine the inside of this laundromat they have service people who are constantly asking if you need help. Thanks Kathy!

what did that sign say?

Holly saw this at a popular convenience store. Clearly, the second sign is quoting the first one, but I'm fairly certain that's still unnecessary.

Christmas Quotes

Lindsey
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

This is Lindsey.
Lindsey is both "witty" and "clever".
Lindsey enjoys "puns".
Lindsey made this sign for the coffee shop. It says "Nog yourself out".
Get it?

Nog yourself out

Thanks for being a "good sport" Lindsey.

more "meat"

Submitter Phillip writes, "Perhaps the real question is whether this was a simple example of bad grammar by the sign-maker, or an attempt at truth in advertising?"
I still have no desire to know what's in hot dogs, and will eat them with chili and cheese to disguise them further.

not "again"

Diarmuid saw this one in Caloundra, Queensland, Australia and suggests that "Again" could mean “We can’t believe it either”, or “The 2004 prize was awarded twice, and we got it both times”

a good blog list

The "blog" came in #9 on this list of "Best Blogs of 2007 That You (Maybe) Aren't Reading." I found the list an interesting read and thought that since people who read this blog are blog readers, you might be interested. Sorry for all the superfluous posts, I'll get back to the pictures now.

Okay, one more random thing. I just received the following email regarding this post:

“We” at the Kentucky Horse Park just saw our 25-year-old, infamous “sign” on your website and decided to “remove” it from our indoor arena and “fix it.” Please see the “attached” photo of our artist, Jim, adding a quotation mark to fix the “previously” dangling quotation mark. We will now “re-hang it” in a place of honor -- our art department. “Thank you” for pointing out our “error!”

That's awesome.

Facebook Group

I started a facebook group for fans of this blog called Quotation Mark "Hunters". Please join it! Does this link work?

"super

Frequent commenter sitboaf sent me this one. He writes "It turned out to be a large burrito. Also, it has apparently already been made, and it belongs to...ummm? Luckily, I was not required to build the entire taco bar, as well."

small victory

I've been a little bit obsessive about following the technorati rank of this blog for a while now, and today is the day that I've been waiting for - I'm in the top 1k! Thank you all for your many links, which has brought me the enviable and temporary title of 997th most popular blog on the internet. I owe it all to you, the readers.

how many?

Jason saw this one at the Kentucky Horse Park. I guess a bunch of people gathering together doesn't necessarily qualify as an "assembly". And that number is just an estimate. Also - hanging quotation mark! Awesome!

I'm so going here

Ok, I know this isn't unnecessary, but I just want to announce that next time I'm in Toronto, I am SO going to this place. Thanks for the headsup Richard.

fake experience

If you happen to live in the same area as Jared, he recommends this place, especially the hash. However, they prefer to remain ambiguous as to how long they have been open, or how many of those years they were really "serving" anyone.

excuse me, ma'am, sparkle alert

I know, more bathrooms. So, I wonder what would happen if somebody threw glitter everywhere. Would you have to advise the Wendy's manager because it was not "sparkling" but, in fact, sparkling?
Thanks to Keith in Silver Spring, MD.

nothing like "community"

Crystal's mom in Olean sent this to her and Crystal sent it to me. I don't know what population "community" is secret code for, but I'm guessing it means "poor people".

more ambiguous numbers

Ken saw this one in rural Australia. By 2 they mean "a few".

population: you figure it out

Heather saw this at a christmas light display in Milwaukee. The whole sign is just too goofy. What sign asks you to count the population yourself?

it's "only" a "washroom"

Thanks, Lisa. Evidently if you're a person with a skirt it's not a washroom, and if you're a person without a skirt it's so much more!

new faction in the "war on christmas"

Jon's company hung this sign on the door. Christmas may or may not be a holiday, they're not sure. Incidentally, he refers to his office as "a christian based music company".

santa is also hyperreal

This from Pal in Essex, UK. Nothing says Christmas like stuffed reindeer!

Santa doesn't have to be sincere

Deanne saw both of these at Santa's Christmas Tree Farm in Orlando. Evidently on the North Pole, there's no REAL danger, just candy canes!

going "bananas"

Submitters Io Still and Jaime R saw this in a Los Angeles Trader Joes. They write: "They LOOKED convincing. These days I guess you can't expect to get a REAL banana for only 19 cents, though. Oh, well."

"classy" people need to be reminded to flush

Today I visited my old high school for my sister's orchestra concert, and there were so many hilarious things about the bathroom. And it wasn't that way when I was a student. There were bottles of hair gel, hand lotion, on the counter. It was hard to find soap! Inside the stalls are these signs (HCHS is the school) and I was SO EXCITED.

(it was really outrageously nice, which is kind of why it's so funny).

again with the mafia

Tim had to replace a tire while working on some clean up in the San Diego area (he reports that his house was safe) when he spotted THIS! So, I guess the real question is, whose "lifetime"?

seriously. "none".

Russ saw this in Houston, PA. What I like about it is the repetition. It's like they felt they needed to clarify that there is no parking... unless you know my guy and happen to have $50.

sandwich theme

Michelle saw this one in South Carolina. I guess you can't actually take the sandwich out anywhere (maybe if you're going steady? sorry.)

boo

Anna saw this in Providence. I'm pretty sure the only place in New England that pun is permissible is Salem.

"soccer ball"

I guess you can't actually play soccer with it. Thanks, Danny.

Philly-esque

Kasey went to this place in Hoboken, NJ. He writes, "if what I ate was not a Philly cheesesteak I'm not really sure I'd like to know what city I had a slice of."

Did it start?

starting
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

Spotted in the window of a bridal shop by Jessica.

Even if things didn't start yet, you can imagine that there might be some confusion about the Fall.